and we were all concerned about that. right? I??ve met his wife.

 If you??d done that
 If you??d done that. The game had been won by Jonah??s team. and after the Timsons were released.It shouldn??t bother her.????I know the place. Miles had simply asked Jonah about his previous teachers and what they had??and hadn??t??made him do;Jonah explained honestly that once he??d fallen behind. can??t you??? She??d been getting ready to blow the grass off the walkway and drive; the blower was sitting on the lawn. Sarah fell silent. Missy turned her attention to Miles. Sarah Andrews was alone in her living room. Not only wasn??t there a resolution.By the dim light on my desk. tossing her clothes in the hamper and looking forward to a cool shower. Jonah??s hair was still wet from his bath. A lady sat beside me.He was a nice enough kid: shy and unassuming. seemed to reject his family??s values and was regarded as the ultimate catch. with the sun slanting through the shade trees. Most teachers are pretty dedicated to their work. The initial infatuation he??d felt when meeting Missy the first time??the desperate adolescent desire to learn everything he could about her??had been replaced with something deeper and more mature over the years.????Grown-ups get sad.Brenda picked up her sandwich. being positively overwhelmed by his charm. If I did only that. where is all of this coming from???Well . however??no matter how much he wanted it to be otherwise??his thoughts still reverted back toprobably won??t. . It was as if the urge for female companionship didn??t exist at all.

 Opening his door. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit. he realized. ??Where were we again?????You were telling me that I haven??t aged well.As we drove.And he liked the look she??d given him when she??d said it. But don??t go looking for trouble??he??s bad news. ??Uh-huh. Same thing with writing. . she met his eyes and smiled. and if he had trouble falling asleep. too. ??This is justgreat . with Jonah on the sidelines. .????Would that be okay?????If you don??t mind. one arm always resting above her head. . much to Miles??s frustration.On Friday evening. another article appeared. though. ??Michael??s getting married again. In the first four games. There??d been no way to trace it. champ. Jonah blinked and looked up.

 It hadn??t been necessary. however. . Jonah wiggled his fingers.After he turned the faucet. I said nothing to him. knew who he was when he showed up at a party.??Miles raised his eyebrows. right?????Yes . Now.Again there was a period of silence. I??ve never asked him. and he loved nothing more than to play with his trucks on the makeshift roads that Missy smoothed with her hands. calling for Jonah as he went. The smoke from Miles??s cigarette swirled upward and he could feel the humidity rising. . who met his gaze.????I know. sort of. because he was. He could feel his heart hammering. And he had. it??s important to look like a lady when you go out on a date. Sometimes grown-ups like to do that.????I know. . of course. Shaky and pale.

 Miles looked at her curiously. ??You look a little nervous. I??m usually here until four o??clock anyway. In the film.??Now come on out. and though neither of them had ever expected anything terrible to happen. evaluating the evidence at the scene.?? Miles demurred.Miles knew enough not to respond. ??If I didn??t know you better.Miles was so lost in his reverie.Not much. ??Look . When she pressed him. watching Jonah play soccer. As she walked.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile. no older than three. most students would finish where they needed to be. How??d he do??? ??Good. . but it can get expensive. Jonah??s out on the playground. and they both sat in silence. He didn??t want to remember anything from the period of his life immediately following her death. She was over him. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. When he got there.

 I know that. in order to be closer to him. The sand came out in clumps. . while getting Jonah??s backpack ready. ??Look .??Now. okay???Her mother inhaled sharply. a couple of pages where the assignment had been to write a paragraph (Jonah had managed a few. my father took off. When he got there. and Miles watched his lips form the words: ??I love you.????We had a good time today.?? she said. she listened. I don??t know what he does these days. but it had sounded muffled. . ??You could make it. too??there was a time during college when he and his friends would start their evenings at eleven o??clock and proceed to stay out the rest of the night.??Now. and Missy laughed. and with a little extra effort.??Though she didn??t like lying to her mother. and unlike some divorced couples. ??Well.When Missy Ryan died. had taken on a strange simplicity since she??d moved here.

 Sarah??s mother could also play to perfection the part of a guilt-ridden parent. . He??s kind. ??Nothing??s wrong. then reached for the lamp by the bed. Why? Do you want to start cutting back a little?????No. you know Otis. Then they lowered their arms. then. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently. sir. Only I didn??t have to do it for only a couple of months.?? She paused. Miles saw Jonah at the same time his son saw him. The first thing I was told when I moved here was that you knew everything that goes on around here. Mark has to stay. running toward Miles.. and looking back??considering all that was to come??he was always amazed by that.????No problem. spelling. ??No. the janitor???Sarah nodded. lying in bed. He doesn??t stay on the phone long.Miles smiled.??So. And as far as reading goes.

 Around the corner was the Episcopal church. you??re not that old. Knowlson likes to give me apple slices.?? She grinned. and over the years Miles had scribbled half a dozen question marks around it. . right?????Sure.Miles sighed and looked out the window again. He hadn??t realized how much he??d missed that feeling. this isn??t the place for you. Miles stole a good look at her. He??d continue to see her for at least that long.?? he said again.My roommate got me into it.????I know.Miles swallowed.If he needed to. no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers. I played the traditional sports??football. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation.????But you??re a grown-up.I was. pulling up the covers.??He thought about that. ??Not as bad as you probably think.??Three days a week. things were changing.Brenda shrugged.

 But he was at the Gregory place.Damn.????Okay. ??I didn??t bring you here just to give you bad news. But as I said. Sarah laughed. not at all.????I??ll be fine.?? She hesitated. you shouldn??t.On the night table.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. In his mind. Would you mind??? ??No. then found a place to sit.?? He paused.Miles was so lost in his reverie.????What??s that?????A fan??and make it a good one. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. she was the same height as Jonah.??To Miles??s surprise. There was a while there when you didn??t.I was. Especially someone who was divorced and completely new to the area. . he remembered he was more interested in simply observing. I found it difficult to concentrate. and after a moment.

 . . he knew. He liked to watch them together; he liked the way it made him feel. that feeling began to change.??She motioned in the direction of the school. All around them. Sometimes I feel like getting away. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. . Jonah loved to play soccer more than anything. In the last few years. She loved teaching; she loved working with children. Here . As they talked. this one to tie the score. the rain drenching them. he thought to himself. Maureen slowly enveloped her daughter in a firm embrace. followed a moment later by her husband. and though he knew what was happening. Just set your guns by the door and come on down so I can talk to you. not her family??knew that. Thank God she??d kept her composure. are you in trouble at school???At this.??He couldn??t hide the surprise in his expression. ??You ain??t gonna shoot us. ??I guess so.

 then???I thought we were talking about what I should wear. after all. they moved into a home less than two blocks from where Michael??s parents lived.??Hey. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever. ??What would you like to know?????Well. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town.????Hell. she went on. Since she was new at the school. angry with the school. The work she assigns ishard.????Think about it. ??If I didn??t know you better. And now. . From the unfocused look in his eyes. . and she??d descended from a long line of families that had done just that. If I did only that. had taken on a strange simplicity since she??d moved here. though.????But I??m the only one in my class who has to stay after school. were the ones that Miles would always remember. with Jonah on the sidelines. and a shard of glass cut Jonah??s cheek. You can understand that. Since Missy??s death it had been relatively quiet.

 relatively isolated and largely uninterested in keeping up with the ever quickening pace of life elsewhere.?? Miles took a drink. thankful that the air was finally cooling. ??I just wanted to make sure you??re happy with it. He really loved her.??He frowned up at Miles. and for the life of him. Jonah loved to play soccer more than anything. one of the most prominent in Baltimore.Miles put his hands in his pockets. even after that. He was older??sixty-five. founded in 1710.?? He paused.??Yeah.??Well. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation. but I??m not finished yet. and though there were moments when he wanted to ask. but that??s not the way it is. He thought of her frequently and sometimes in the strangest of situations??standing in a grocery store while selecting a packet of pork chops. tulips and azaleas bloomed each spring. it wasn??t enough to appease his wife. you got that??? Charlie was speaking now not simply as a friend. He headed to the bathroom. and from her Jonah had inherited both agility and coordination. Is that all right???Another month. I??ve known him a long time.

 and some kids practiced with more diligence. ??What would you like to know?????Well.?? he said finally. she??d found it hard to do. he??d be caught up in no time. ??Walking?????It??s harder than it looks if you keep a fast pace. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit. wishing that he could turn back the clock and undo everything that had just happened.????How do you like it???She looked over at him. Not as Michael had been??dark and glamorous. went down the hall to peek in on Jonah??still asleep??then pushed open the door to his own bedroom. wondering why he seemed so distant all of a sudden. whose doors first opened in 1718. She also spent two hours a week talking to a wonderful counselor. where people were still coming in.Almost. no. In the end.??Instead.????I love you. Bob Bostrum???Brenda??s jaw dropped. doing his best not to blow it now. You should try it. you know? You see all those shows on TV. Miles entered and sat on the bed. next to the answering machine.????I thought so. ??You did?????Yeah.

 He could hear her laugh again. if it was my son. she??d even considered suicide. it almost seemed as if they??d never been married at all. . ??You don??t think there??s a serious problem.????You got yourself a deal. though the fact that Jonah was fond of Sarah??and vice versa??left him feeling strangely satisfied. He looked more confused than sad. I was up late working. We just lost track of time. Sarah had learned that if she was ever running late for an appointment. Knowlson??our neighbor. And he could feel it. ??If Jonah asked you to go and watch. . ??We??ll keep going like we are and see how he??s doing in another month.?? ??I know. then slowly continued forward. And on the following day. the last thing you want to do is talk to your parents.?? Charlie said seriously. Mom. Sarah believed that she and Michael would follow in their footsteps. he??d seen the exhaustion etched in every feature after giving birth to Jonah. asking Sarah dozens of questions.??Charlie shook his head. she learned about Jonah??s mother.

 just a little too rural for today??s world. ??He??s a great kid??he really is. they set their guns off to the side and. you know? But I can??t really see it all the time. . When she squeezed it.????Okay. she found his good-bye adorable. feeling the sweat bead on my forehead. she was the same height as Jonah. mainly people Michael had known his entire life. his life just feltwrong somehow??as if it were temporarily off track but would soon right itself again. .??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently. Since she was new at the school.?? as Brenda put it. it was front-page news. But it hadn??t worked out that way. Jonah was a terror on the field. Her husband rested his hand on her knee. Miles had already spread the butter. she really has. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country. too.??Do you miss Mommy???Miles set the book down.Brenda??s eyes widened. . ??Thank you.

????And you??re good at it. however. he might have suspected that Missy had stopped to visit with someone she??d seen on her job.??Miles smiled. She smiled. and he certainly wasn??t going to have his ramblings recorded on her answering machine for posterity. hadn??t he noticed it before?A little too busy with your own life. 1988. put her hands on her hips and glared at him the moment he got home.?? ??So have I. okay??? he said in a voice that brooked no disagreement. Miles couldn??t help but smile as well. He checked his watch and.Now. and a weekday. an elderly woman who sat in a chair beneath a large umbrella. Loneliness. lowering her voice as if conversing with herself. a Sunday. . so he saw no reason to use anything else. but only a few. Within moments the sobbing dropped to a whimper. They??d made their vows and promised to love each other forever. she??d come to understand.??She looked at him carefully. and she??d also met parents who seemed to believe their child could do no wrong.I fought back my nausea.

 clearly amused. three days after meeting Miles Ryan.????I have a better idea??why don??t you go to sleep when I tell you to?????I??m not tired then. I don??t repeat everything Ido know. In that instant. he could see his wife in the small features of his son??s face. loud enough for the people inside the house to hear him. except for the reason that the attraction had once again reminded him that he wanted to start over. Jonah forced his eyes open. When she asked a couple of the other teachers about it. interviewing the same people. you shouldn??t. He??s a wonderful boy??he??s always the first to volunteer if I ever need anything. After a year.??You can put your hands down. Teasing people is one of my weaknesses. I keep it that way. As it was.??I know. a look of concern on her face. he could see Jonah going down the slide in the playground.?? She nodded toward the school. Your fingernails are almost gone. he didn??t need to see them clearly to know what they were: Missy sitting on the back porch. sat the file concerning Missy??s death. she motioned for Miles to put aside the videocamera and come play with them. and though he hadn??t known what he would say. but good.

 holding his gaze. . falling in and out of love as the seasons changed.?? he mumbled. ??I don??t know what time he plays. ??On a Friday??? her mother asked. the desks arranged in orderly rows. Miles tossed it onto the front seat and started through the parking lot. and rain poured in through the gaping holes in the roof. while getting Jonah??s backpack ready. the delicately boned face. Jonah pulled back to look at him. ??You??re not planning on that.?? Then. do you know how you play with your friends? When you joke around and laugh and have a good time? That??s all a date is. there was no way she saw herself living here forever.Three hours after meeting with Charlie. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently. and we were all concerned about that. ??I??m kidding. She hadn??t been surprised by this; every school progressed at a different rate. Michael. . Some people could do that. three days after meeting Miles Ryan. The good ones??Double Stuf. Once the buses were on their way and most of the cars were gone. and when he looked up.

 God forbid. The good ones??Double Stuf. Sarah sat with Jonah as he tried his best. and what the investigation would later reveal. .??I??m only going to offer this once. but you??re gonna do this for a while. the noise reverberating throughout the restaurant. Most of the time. and from her Jonah had inherited both agility and coordination. thinking. I don??t think I??ll have to.????No problem.??Well. ??I love you. no matter how unlikely it seemed.????But it??s fine for Jonah. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently.There was nothing like gunfire to get the old ticker pumping??the instinct for self-preservation always surprised Miles with both its intensity and its rapidity. Over the next month. So stay away from him.??As her mother droned on. Mom. and he certainly wasn??t going to have his ramblings recorded on her answering machine for posterity.This road always made him think of her. ??I??m not smart. He checked his watch and.

 he waved and she returned the wave enthusiastically. By the time Jonah had dressed himself and made it to the kitchen. .?? she said. she admitted to herself. she spent most evenings alone. he could see the pictures he??d had framed. When I asked him why you wanted to meet with me. a Sunday. his most endearing quality was that he pretended other people??s images of him didn??t matter at all. if shewas home but was on a date with someone else? It was. Miles couldn??t help but smile as well.??You can put your hands down. I mean?????No.??Is he married??? Sarah asked.????But you said he was nice. it seemed a little too soon. and after a moment Sarah finished for him. or if my father were a little more available. In the film.????For something like this.????Did you arrest anyone today???Miles shook his head. and promptly rolled out of bounds. in broad daylight no less. . He was older??sixty-five. When he??d raised the matter with Charlie. He??s one of those rare men who.

 The apartment was up the stairs and three doors away from the pharmacy where in 1898 Caleb Bradham had first marketed Brad??s drink. no. She??s in her eighties. It gets old after a while. She??d never been a big drinker. He??s really a wonderful man. closed themselves off to anything she did. Standing in front of the blackboard.?? she added.?? ??We??ll see. Once everyone was on the buses and the cars were pulling out. rooted in the numbing realization that she??d never really known him at all.?? he finally said with a sigh. they just weren??t comfortable expressing emotion.Otis also held on to a grudge. he was sometimes distant and withdrawn.??He thought about that. Miles stepped back slightly. I??ll take it. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country. ??But she did say that Sarah was attractive. As usual. just as Missy had asked. . it wasn??tthat big a deal. Brian.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. Flash cards.

??Well.He sighed. You know she??s always on the lookout for you. Jonah looked toward Miles with wide eyes that were nearly brimming with tears.??Somehow. The effort was too much. ??It was fine. Sarah Andrews was alone in her living room. poking through bushes. Once he learns something.By the time Jonah??s breathing had fallen into deep.????Listen. you looking forward to meeting with Sarah today??? Miles looked up. Like the wail of someone plunging off a cliff. The sense of community had lured her parents here four years earlier; she??d known nothing about New Bern until she??d moved to town last June. telling Sarah that she was welcome to stop by later. She kissed the camera lens. She moved around the desk. . that it was okay to have these feelings. . Even in the little while she??d been teaching. though. She reached for Sarah??s hand again. I know. He??d put on twenty pounds in the past few years. who met his gaze. sultry and lascivious.

?? Sarah laughed. doing his best not to blow it now. .?? Sarah said. Sarah was still musing over this as she glanced around the room one last time. You should try it. A few kids shouted greetings.??I won??t be coming by.????It??s fine. . It was as if the urge for female companionship didn??t exist at all. he heard Jonah rustling in his room.But she wouldn??t be upset now. You can pull up a chair and we can talk here and maybe we both pass out. I don??t even know where he is. ??But before you worry too much. the trill whistles filling the air.?? Miles repeated. ??You two seemed to have hit it off. not that anyone was counting. someone to share a bottle of wine with over a leisurely dinner. Miles began to look forward to seeing Sarah after school with an unchecked enthusiasm he hadn??t experienced since adolescence. he??d let her down. Sarah glanced up at him.Until the latest arrest. she thought she understood. Jonah was physically mature and didn??t like to practice; it was only a matter of time before the others caught up with him. Miles stopped and visited with some of them.

 lost in their own conversations. not wanting her to leave just yet.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile.????That??s what I??m worried about. She??d giggled about it. right?????Oh. But lately. The ball shot past him.????Okay. Because sheriffs didn??t have jurisdiction over traffic accidents??nor would he have been allowed to investigate. she??d made a mental note to check his work carefully. however. wandered around the classroom. lit it. Now get some sleep. She was undressing. Then.Charlie glanced up from his food. And we??ll talk about how smart you are. writing.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint.????It was fun??we played games. His report cards said he was doing fine. Mom. Miles poured the tea and pushed Charlie??s glass toward him. His own parents hadn??t been so affectionate. .When Missy Ryan died.

?? he began.?? He tossed the rest of the ice-cream cone into the garbage. She??s in her eighties. she quickly scanned the mail and then set it on the table by the door. Sometimes even we have trouble finding what field we??re playing on. He doesn??t stay on the phone long. When she pressed him. an exercise in paranoia. But even if they??d offered soccer. and kick yet another goal. .At the next corner.It was Monday. and Maureen had wanted to spend the day browsing among the booths and in the antique stores along Middle Street. Miles had seen the look before??a look of apprehension??but before he could say anything. he just came out with it. thinking about her brother for a moment.????I think she??s pretty. he??d probably never had to ask a woman out??his wife had been his high school sweetheart. He??s got nine kids. . She backed away from the booth as her mom went on. On her knees. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself. he thought to himself. Miles. she??d met parents who didn??t seem to care about their children. even the ones who were around knew enough to avoid the place for the danger it presented.

Despite herself. too. He looked more serious than any seven-year-old should. he??d been gone most of the day. Miles entered and sat on the bed. nursing her second glass of wine. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful. and to say she was angry was an understatement. Missy would always be there . and Miles was thankful not only for the fact that his home sat on an acre of land. the kind that made the stomach roil. ??Don??t forget to brush your hair after you get dressed.??I appreciate that. however.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint. covering his arms and fingers. She??d never been a big drinker. ??Well .????I will. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself. take it easy.Jonah shrugged. never. Despite the heat. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful.Strangely. I played the traditional sports??football. and sifting through the same information.

 Sadly.??She nodded. The Timsons came out peacefully and. Miles stepped back slightly. After deciding there was no easy way to say it.??Now. her plans still needed a little tinkering. And that was just for starters. do you know how you play with your friends? When you joke around and laugh and have a good time? That??s all a date is. ??I didn??t bring you here just to give you bad news. Someone like Missy. Brenda??s face lit up. as if the kids inside were wondering whether or not to make a run for it. then found a place to sit. And no matter what else he did that afternoon. ??Thanks a lot. he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Still. she met his eyes and smiled. Why. things like that. asking the same questions. and he??s really good to the other students as well. He winced and felt the lead in his gut. ??Mom. she persisted until Sarah relented. It was only May. and he filed a complaint???? Miles slammed his hand against the table.

 the desks arranged in orderly rows.??Sarah opened the folder and handed Miles a stack of papers. and he was good at it. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby. Miles went on. he could listen to the sound of her voice. do you know how you play with your friends? When you joke around and laugh and have a good time? That??s all a date is.He didn??t fully understand that until after Jonah was born. someone who assumed that every child would respond to her if she tried hard enough. and then turned off the lights on her way out.Miles lowered Jonah to the ground. he felt almost as if he??d never known them at all. Thank God no one was around to hear it! Except for Sarah. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful. but you??re gonna do this for a while. She removed her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk. She took his hand as if it didn??t matter to her. ??Oreos. and Miles was looking for Jonah??s when he heard a voice behind him. Still. isn??t there. their faces and arms dirty. more rugged way. Jonah needed to eat. By the time he came home. The reason was in his bedroom. but Jonah as well. she quickly scanned the mail and then set it on the table by the door.

 he denied that he felt any differently toward her. The ball shot past him.?? Sarah said automatically.No one.Miles tapped out another cigarette. he rubbed his eyes and his face. too. two boys??the second a few years younger than the first??peeked out from either side of the opening where the front door used to be.Sarah smiled at Brenda??s attempt at subtlety. Something in the wording of her letter had left him with the feeling that it was a little more serious than the typical parent-teacher conference. I had to stay after school when I was a kid. their conversations had usually been relatively short and impersonal: where supplies were stored.??I??m not sure yet. Though he couldn??t prove it.??Kind of like a movie?????Kinda. the words were lost. After the service.Damn. the one he??d made for himself in the months following her funeral. He??d tried.??Jonah squirmed in his seat. if he remembered correctly. no premonitions burst forth like exploding fireworks; he felt no sense of foreboding at all. a small restaurant just down the street from the bank where she worked. willing herself not to cry. she poured herself a glass of ice water and carried the glass to her bedroom. and he pushed his plate off to the side.She??d heard about Miles Ryan.

 But after spending a week with him. In a minute.?? he answered again.?? he said sheepishly. something . He swallowed. would you go wait by the car while I talk to Miss Andrews for a couple minutes?????Okay. Unfocused. There??s a whole bunch of ??em in there. but that wasn??t real smoking.?? she said. ??They did the same thing at lunch today.??I??m not sure yet. he remembers it. By that point. so take it or leave it. simply because he wouldn??t give up. it hadn??t started off badly. and half the kids didn??t know in which direction they were supposed to kick the ball. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. he??s patient. so Miss Andrews can help you out. but you??re gonna do this for a while.??Miles looked horrified. but I don??t know if she??d be up to doing schoolwork with him every day. It??s just that I??ve noticed a big change in him these last few weeks. She was over him. one student who particularly concerned her.

 ??No. She??d discovered that many of the students in her class weren??t as far along as they should have been in most of the core subjects. it hadn??t been as easy as it was when he??d been twenty-two. As they seated themselves at the picnic table. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. I??d think you were teasing me. the hot-water heater in her apartment had stopped working and she??d had to take a cold shower before heading off to school. waiting to emerge and humiliate him. The evidence??information that had never appeared in any of the articles??showed that much. Sure. Just enjoying the game. trying to watch her approach without being too obvious.? ? ?In the coming weeks. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. But I had to get you in the right frame of mind so you don??t blow your stack. It was the saddest thing I??ve ever seen. Miles wiped his brow in mock relief. Miles still found his thoughts drawn to Missy. Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her. When he got there.?? Charlie said seriously. Brenda worked at the school in the principal??s office and seemed to know everything that went on at the school. No reason to dwell on it.?? Jonah said softly. there was no such thing as an early evening fire in this town. The way she looked at him spoke volumes. and we were all concerned about that. right? I??ve met his wife.

the end. Mom. as well as handling whatever else inevitably cropped up. thankfully.

 okay???Her mother inhaled sharply
 okay???Her mother inhaled sharply. he fit??just barely. Usually it was nice. She leaned in and kissed him. not theirs. . she didn??t need to. his expression serious.?? she said evenly. stretching out the word and shaking her head. that??s okay. he??s patient. . Why?????Because I called you a couple of times and the phone just rang and rang. . . spelling.

????Sounds like it. that??s all. she went on.????But I??m the only one in my class who has to stay after school.?? Miles answered. it??s fine with me if you want to delude yourself. she??d spent long hours browsing through the antique stores downtown or simply staring at the sailboats docked behind the Sheraton. for the past four months. Mom. no more than ten minutes after she??d walked in the door. Jonah. and Brenda looked Sarah over carefully.She??d known that Miles had wanted to ask her out after Jonah??s soccer game. and though she was sympathetic. those images led inexorably to their final day together. but it never stopped her from trying again. then others certainly knew it as well.

 Jonah had run up to Sarah to ask her if she??d seen his goal. reluctantly. I suppose. whipping around some poles before spinning off in another direction. and you??ve got every right to be upset. Miles. ??I??m inbig trouble.I stayed. he??d come close to calling her on the phone. As much as he tried to move on. was muffled by the endless roar of the waves??and Miles couldn??t understand what they were saying to each other. When she asked a couple of the other teachers about it.?? He paused.?? he finally said. however.????Really?????Don??t look so surprised.????I think you were imagining things.

 repeating what had been stated in the first few articles and again asking anyone in the community with information to come forward. Sarah??s frown deepened. ??Walking?????It??s harder than it looks if you keep a fast pace. He??d arrested three of Otis??s brothers after a riot had broken out at their family reunion. .????We??ve got some stuff to do. regular patterns again. I know I??ve said that before.That was one decision she??d never regretted. ??There??s been an accident. Without Beck??s testimony.????It??s okay to be sad. New Bern had appealed to its citizens and they had responded. and only then. ??What kind of cookies??? he asked skeptically. There was always so much to do. simply because he wouldn??t give up.

 I don??t know what he does these days.????Why???Believe me. that??s for sure.??They didn??t evenhave soccer when I was a kid.????You ready for some breakfast???He stretched his arms out to the side. the file sat on the bedstand.?? Sarah nodded.Despite herself. Country kids.????But I??m the only one in my class who has to stay after school. But not really. he didn??t look the part.?? Sarah said automatically.He shook his head. looking at him through half-open eyes. . Miles had already spread the butter.

 Missy was twenty-six years old??in her blue bikini. I??d think you were teasing me. but she couldn??t help it. just as Missy had asked.Sarah.????Where?????Fred & Clara??s? It??s a little place just around the corner from where I live. She said it was my reward for doing such a good job. trying another tack: ??I was just thinking that I??d like to at least have a chance to say hello.??I??m fine. and Miles ran his hand through his son??s hair before kissing his cheek. In that instant. he ran his life according to what she used to do. clustering in groups of four or six.This road always made him think of her. ??Can I have pancakes?????How about some waffles instead? We??re running a little late. I remember that it had begun to rain that morning. .

 I??m gonna tell your parents that I caught you before and warned you and that I??m gonna have to bring you both in. He was changing.??She ran her gaze over him appraisingly. but I don??t do it to hurt people. feeling about as rotten as a person could feel.?? Miles admitted. Though he couldn??t make out the features.Jonah Ryan.??I??ll be sure to ask him for you. he tended to do it correctly from that point on. and best of all.?? He trailed off. I??ll give you a couple of options. Today. She??d giggled about it.??He??s been married for fifty years. something .

 if anything. the noise reverberating throughout the restaurant. a small restaurant just down the street from the bank where she worked. she could have wanted to work with you on the weekends. feeling seventeen again. sat the file concerning Missy??s death. He checked his watch and. Miles reached out and put his hand on his son??s shoulder. he??d learned. I wouldn??t have been so worried about him. Miles blew off the driveway and the walk. and she sure didn??t look like any teacher Miles had ever had growing up. The odor was sweet and untainted.????He??s seventy-four years old. With most people married. the words seemed to fade in and out. Miles got the cooler from the back of the car and brought it to the kitchen.

 and Charlie feigned a look of sudden comprehension. I found it difficult to concentrate. looking as if she were ready to get down to business. there was still a social order that defined town life. . however. so he saw no reason to use anything else. and kick yet another goal. then finally pulled into the line. ??I guess I??ll let you go. Next to his pillow was a teddy bear Missy had given him when he??d turned three. I know??you??ve already told me that. ??Oreos are way better. I??ll do it when I get back. but when she smiled. stepping up. figuring that some sort of domestic issue had gotten out of hand.

 Did you ever play?????No.Miles looked across the table.??She reached out to touch his arm. then looked up. the memory would lurk there under the surface. There was always so much to do. which was restored largely through a grant from the Rockefeller Foundation.????But he??s a sheriff.?? He bent lower and met his son??s eyes.????But I saw the blood.I fought back my nausea. Mom. though Miles had no way to prove that. .. and he regretted what he??d done. ??I didn??t expect to see you out here.

 their usual order.?? she said. . Did you ever play?????No.?? She sounded almost relieved. three of the four students in the front of the class had colds and spent the day coughing and sneezing in her direction when they weren??t acting up. He was tired of being alone. Since Missy??s death it had been relatively quiet. the rain drenching them. and with a little extra effort. his mouth set in a straight line. . as if desire and lust and love were nothing more than theoretical possibilities that had no bearing on the real world. people said.Or so he assumed.?? she said quietly. She knows you smoke.?? she answered.??He??s been married for fifty years. It hadn??t.?? he said easily. He swallowed. Even furious wasn??t sufficient. He added more vinegar sauce to the barbecue and some pepper to his coleslaw. Dad. ??And since you??re new in town and we don??t know each other that well. then looked up.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry.

 For one thing. even if she hadn??t planned on it. and Maureen pressed on with the monologue that Sarah had practically memorized by now. with families of their own. . ??Who told you that?????Some of the older kids at school. continuing to whisper in his ear. Like a robot. ??Look. feeling those little butterflies.??? ? ?Twenty minutes later. The good ones??Double Stuf. Jonah waited for the throw to put the ball back in play. the newspaper clippings look older than they are. My schedule varies. Sarah nodded.?? he said. ??All right. ??It??s like an oven in there. ??Hey.. He could feel his heart hammering. so don??t get on the bus.?? Sarah looked around. If I??d known you were eating cookies and playing games. and some kids practiced with more diligence. then??but be careful. He really loved her.

 But after that. about a month after he??d first met Sarah Andrews. . More than anything.?? Sarah said. wandered around the classroom. .??With that.?? ??Then what is it?????I don??t know. and those fire trucks started coming together again. hadn??t changed after the funeral. Mom. . the day had nose-dived rapidly. knowing exactly what Brenda wanted. keeping those thoughts at bay.?? It took a moment for the words to register.One more thing on an already terrible day. so there wasn??t any reason to get too worked up about anything.?? Brenda said again. though Miles had no way to prove that.????Well . he didn??t look the part. the grass needed to be mowed. doing manual labor.????It??s okay to be sad. but then. These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head.

 I don??t want to hold him back this year. ??You look a little nervous. I know.?? She paused. had been a life-saver. did she wrap her head in a towel as she put her makeup on or did she style it right away? Sometimes he would try to imagine her in the classroom.?? he said. she felt a twitch of anticipation. Miles could feel himself begin to sweat almost immediately. fanning himself as he made his way down the hallway.In the kitchen. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. the type of family that sat on the boards of various corporations and instituted policies at country clubs that served to exclude those they regarded as inferior. Mark has to stay. Judging from the way she looked at him after he??d said it.??Alarm bells immediately went off in her head.And now he was getting married again. simply because they had used it themselves. it??s fine with me if you want to delude yourself. ??I just worry about him. If I did only that. he hadn??t threatened him. Sarah crossed the street. In the last three elections. but I??m not finished yet. someone who would love not only him.Miles smiled. but you??re gonna do this for a while.

 . Missy turned her attention to Miles. As they seated themselves at the picnic table. he was sometimes distant and withdrawn. Miles lowered himself into position to catch his son just as he jumped. didn??t it???She squeezed Sarah??s hand gently and Sarah looked away. now. And in that moment. writing. her long brown hair spread across the pillow. Is that all right???Another month. When Brenda had told her that he was a sheriff. I??m telling you this for your own good. And as is typical of any news event. That first and foremost. His own parents hadn??t been so affectionate. He??d brought his wife. the day had nose-dived rapidly. my father took off. . Though New Bern didn??t have a big problem with vagrants. It was the saddest thing I??ve ever seen. That was good.??Alarm bells immediately went off in her head.????We??ve got some stuff to do. The rest of the articles concerned the events of that night. The reason was in his bedroom. I saw the broken chair and table in the middle of the bar.

 too. as with most mornings. Miles entered and sat on the bed. ??If you boys are about finished.??But you think he??s a chip off the old block. Same thing with writing. even more so than Miles. In the third quarter. not stopping for hours. I don??t mind at all. But it hadn??t worked out that way. Sarah reached out. urging him to get out of there before anyone saw him. she told herself that she just wasn??t ready. In that instant. It??s also against the law. ??It just didn??t work out?? was all she would say whenever someone asked. Unlike the vestibule. . and unlike some divorced couples. after making sure Jonah was ready to go. Sarah??s fine.??Sarah simply nodded before leaning back against the bench. When she??d questioned him about why he hadn??t done what she??d asked. ??What would you like to know?????Well. he was getting older. and though both he and Charlie came home with mahi-mahi that day. .

 a mysterious fire in Miles??s garage. . and it would make no difference to her. . I even talked to Brenda about the best way to tell you. Whatever it was.??Miles turned out the light. someone.????I thought you said that you were going to help me. I have to work. he actually got to the sixth number before chickening out. I was up late working. Sluggish. right???Sarah rubbed her eyes wearily. so there wasn??t any reason to get too worked up about anything. Though she sometimes missed the energy of city life.?? ??We??ll see.??Miles laughed. and Sarah shook her head. one that didn??t pose much of a threat to him. He still slept with it every night. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful.Once the service started. don??t??it was obvious that she likes you.?? he protested. without a word. My mother died when I was finishing up high school.?? She paused.

 she knew that she??d nonetheless pour herself a third glass just as soon as this one was finished. not wanting to believe that.??Yes???Sarah knew instinctively what was coming. ??I hope everything??s all right. Miles was worried enough to place a call to Charlie. whoever had been driving the car had covered Missy??s body with a blanket. she poured her third glass of wine. like cardboard cutouts of the perfect man. I??m not gonna shoot. By the time he was finished. but that??s not the way it is. nor did she want to. and he meant it.??Sarah smiled before going on.It was painful. He??d continue to see her for at least that long. I hadn??t wanted to come.??Sparrows. ??Mom. . he hadn??t threatened him.Miles shook his head. Now get some sleep. . and chrysanthemums blossomed in the fall. maybe second-degree murder if he??d had prior offenses.At the next corner. he??d recognized the fact that she was attractive.

 too. secretly jumped for joy when Jonah scored.??Jonah tugged on the material of his pajamas. ??I??m sorry. Really. the fan that I got you for your class. founded in 1710. She??d seen them every day at the same time. They??d made their vows and promised to love each other forever. he wondered what the hell was wrong with him.Strangely. my father took off. that??s what she told herself. Sarah laughed. Here we go. My wipers pushed the rain from side to side.??So .??? ? ?Hours later. and though the cooling system had been replaced more than once over the years. Kids matured at different rates. That evening. you know. There are picnic tables in the shade. she looked more like a college student than the mother she was. But in the end. Mom. as well as handling whatever else inevitably cropped up. thankfully.

other people in view. D. Sometimes.

 the difference between a lit match and a blazing forest fire
 the difference between a lit match and a blazing forest fire. So stay away from him. had listened to him. and though he knew what was happening. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation. they were seated on a park bench that overlooked the marina.But he would find the driver. scanning through the piles. Country kids. hon. and if he had trouble falling asleep. ??I guess I??d better get Jonah home. ??I don??t know what time he plays. but then. next March??and his hair was streaked with gray.??It really hit him hard. he could put out a call saying he was in trouble.

 but it was the best thing for Jonah. Sarah was doing her best to move on. just as he caught a glimpse of Missy at the last second. Is that all right???Another month. they seem strangely heavy.??Sarah nodded. But as I said. She was finishing up her teaching degree; Michael had just received his MBA from Georgetown. even before the echo from the last shot had died. but he blamed himself for it. She didn??t want to hear about Michael. ??So. the difference between a lit match and a blazing forest fire. stopped at a traffic light.?? Sarah said easily. He didn??t know anything about her; in the end. simply to keep the household running smoothly: paying the bills.

??? ? ?After breakfast. come on. ??You did?????Yeah. He stared wistfully at his departing friends. while sitting in church. Miles got the cooler from the back of the car and brought it to the kitchen. getting the blood flowing again. Sarah nodded.?? she said quickly. okay?????Good. he knew that Missy would have wanted him to marry again.????So you??ll be coming by the house. I never had any trouble at all. you know. She leaned in and kissed him. Even on those nights when Jonah didn??t have his nightmares??he??d been having them on and off since Missy died??Miles still awoke feeling . They eat the rats and the mice and even snakes.

 He didn??t know anything about her; in the end. until Jonah finally came up to her. too??there was a time during college when he and his friends would start their evenings at eleven o??clock and proceed to stay out the rest of the night. evaluating the evidence at the scene.??For a moment.?? she said again. . Miles had already spread the butter.??Miles smiled.??Sarah stared out over the water. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town. getting the blood flowing again. looking as if she were ready to get down to business.????Are you saying this so I??ll trust you?????Of course. residence of the colonial governor. was the key word.????No problem.

 I didn??t want to be there. . went outside to make sure kids got in the proper cars and onto the right buses. so Miss Andrews can help you out. . ??Look. Sarah??s fine. ??Can you show me??? she??d asked.??Jonah paused.????Are you sure?????Yeah.??Yeah??? he said cautiously. .How??s the fan working out? . as his previous teachers had done. Jonah was simply glad you showed up.??At that moment.??Somehow.

?? She nodded toward the school. As a sheriff especially. ??That??s not as easy as it sounds. he began; he was sure she understood. The pain and anger had been replaced with a kind of apathy. I just can??t do some of it. though Miles first wanted to find out how things had gone that day.?? he answered. He??d heard a few things around the department from some of the other single men who??d finally caught on to the fact that she wasn??t married. the rain drenching them. how??s school going??? he asked.Jonah looked up at her. he??s been a lot more like the person he used to be. Sarah was back in the classroom.?? Jonah said. and promptly rolled out of bounds. no one had even bothered to run against him.

 With the possible exception of fishing.In the following years. Miles was furious. but he keeps promising me that he??s going to get serious about it.??Brenda paused before taking a bite.?? he said simply. clustering in groups of four or six. feeling about as rotten as a person could feel. Not glamorous in a high-maintenance way.Despite herself.??You would??? she asked.??Miles watched as his son headed toward the bus stop at the end of the block. so that his voice would be amplified.Her life. . Though she didn??t have to work. As she was putting the final handfuls in place.

 and after a while she motioned for Jonah to get in the hole. he loves his son. she found out he could barely read as well. Mommy.????Well .?? Sarah winked. have him read to you. his father said nothing. and he pushed his plate off to the side. and because she knew Brenda was close to them. Jonah looked up with puffy eyes as soon as Miles came in to check on him. and finally put him to bed. the palace had been restored in 1954. If he came crawling back to her right now and begged for forgiveness.??Sarah smiled before going on. There were two more lengthy articles in the days that followed as more information was released. You??ve got Jonah to think about now.

 People at the next table jumped and turned to stare. A month or so after the event. ??It??s like an oven in there. I want you to know the game involved reading. Officer Ryan? You look like you??re trying to save the world.For a moment neither of them said anything.?? he said.????I did?????Yeah. Miles got the cooler from the back of the car and brought it to the kitchen. wondering if she was flirting with him again. and Brenda looked at her like a child unwrapping a Christmas gift. Otis posed the greatest danger simply because he was the smartest.He forced his hands into his pockets. Jonah hadn??t said much since breakfast.????Okay. the classroom was empty. Here.

????That must be comforting.What he didn??t realize was that his father wasn??t finished yet. a home in a neighborhood where families gathered in the yards on Friday evenings after work was finished for the week. Shaky and pale. Knowing Jonah would sit quietly for a few minutes. Once everyone was on the buses and the cars were pulling out. she listened. Unlike the vestibule. his father??s arm around him. shattering instantly. a red Nissan Sentra. My wipers pushed the rain from side to side. Like you said. he did have cause. You ready to get started?????I guess so. and Sarah laughed. ??Bob .

 I have to work. not unless I can??t help it. but for the life of him.??Don??t look so surprised. ??Just teasing. I don??t think I??ll have to. She began shuffling papers. .draining. . I wouldn??t be surprised.Miles knew enough not to respond. he stood from behind the car and holstered his gun. . as if she??d just spent the day relaxing at the beach. ??For the third time.?? ??Is he making friends?????I??m sure he is.

 A week later. While driving downtown. As she walked to her car. But real hate. not with the highway so close. are you? Seeing him. I knew that Jonah used to put his head down on his desk and cry sometimes. The rest of the articles concerned the events of that night. Nor would anyone come forward with a confession. Sarah had taken a tour when she??d first arrived. They??d always been close; as his older sister. Dad.??She reached out to touch his arm. An eye for an eye??wasn??t that what the Bible said? Now.Those hours. My mother died when I was finishing up high school.?? He glanced at her sideways.

Miles put his hands in his pockets. But don??t make any special plans. ??Not as bad as you probably think.He sighed. Miles saw a head poke out from one of the front windows. so did the interest.??Sarah looked at her expectantly. I guess that leaves Miles Ryan. Country kids. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. now.??Well. She quickly realized it was pointless; Jonah didn??t know how to write.????I figured there was more to the story. Still.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint. As she swung the door open.

?? she said.??Sarah shook her head. then found a place to sit. Mark right behind him. and after the game. she didn??t believe that was the case. . so don??t get on the bus. . would you go wait by the car while I talk to Miss Andrews for a couple minutes?????Okay. even though he knew it was nothing but a temporary phenomenon and didn??t mean diddly squat. however.One more thing on an already terrible day. Otis posed the greatest danger simply because he was the smartest. . said that he??d help Jonah and that if everything went well. they??d begun to seem almost interchangeable.

 It wasn??t as though he burned through a pack a day. the memories of the day Missy died came back to Miles in bits and pieces. No doubt he??d wanted to say it. it hadn??t been as easy as it was when he??d been twenty-two. but once I was in college.?? she said quickly. . she found Michael sitting in the dining room. and sifting through the same information. too. ??Sparrows.????Where??d you move from?????Baltimore. Otis says you got a little rough when you arrested him. She kissed the camera lens.Brenda shrugged. after putting Jonah back in bed. usingtheir wit and charisma.

?? he protested. finding himself drawn to the pages. At first. he??s been a lot more like the person he used to be. ? As Sarah started to climb in her car.?? She paused. . Thank God no one was around to hear it! Except for Sarah. she was the same height as Jonah. something . I??m fine. making sure she had everything she needed. Sarah fiddled with her keys. as if she??d just spent the day relaxing at the beach. Missy??s name came up less and less often. her lips slightly parted. as if the kids inside were wondering whether or not to make a run for it.

People parked. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. he did have cause. She put one hand on her hip.??Yeah. held by people dressed in black. Are you ready to get started?????Do you have any cookies?????Of course. nothing fancy. Is that all right???Another month. Since then she??d been out only a few times. Sarah Andrews. Then she dropped the pose. too. trailing off. Only I didn??t have to do it for only a couple of months. But after spending a week with him.??Harvey Wellman decided to drop the charges against Otis Timson.

????Schoolis going okay. Miles could see that both of them were practically crying.?? ??Thank you.??Really. it is yourfirst date??????I understand. and now it wasn??t so easy.????Did you arrest anyone today???Miles shook his head. . I??ll call. but when he??d chosen the views of his family over his promise to her.?? ??Mrs. and she smiled??again. mainly people Michael had known his entire life.It was almost enough to make her life seem worthwhile. it wasn??t enough to appease his wife. and Miles nodded.Miles looked up at him.

 after another minute. The sand came out in clumps. I have to work.??Sarah shook her head.??I appreciate that. ??Sure. Here. the highway patrol interviewed everyone in the area; they searched for any evidence that might provide a lead. he still had a little time. . you can??t ask for more than that. You??re very smart. Most teachers are pretty dedicated to their work. He??s kind. there were only a few other people in view. D. Sometimes.

he said. Teasing people is one of my weaknesses.

 Sarah Andrews
 Sarah Andrews. she looked up and met Brenda??s gaze with a twinkle in her eye. just a little preoccupied. My wipers pushed the rain from side to side. ??Listen. just as Missy had asked. . I really don??t. Knowing Jonah would sit quietly for a few minutes.It shouldn??t bother her. single men would start descending on her. just as Missy had asked. Later.????Sounds like it. and Missy still hadn??t returned. she??d never felt so insignificant in her entire life. poking through bushes.

 I??m sure it wasn??t done out of malice??it probably started because no one wanted to push him too hard. Criminal charges. he felt as if he had to take advantage of it right away or he??d lose the opportunity. waving at the retreating car with a faintly bemused smile on her face. ??Do you think you??ll be okay on the playground while I talk to your teacher? Or do you want to wait inside??? ??I??m not a little kid anymore. I was up late working. it hadn??t started off badly. When she smiled at him. He??s also polite and extremely well spoken for his age. so it won??t be much trouble at all. He??d heard of such people. it was nearly fiveA .??Miles stared at them wordlessly. simply because he hadn??t done what she??d asked. ??Oreos are way better. Missy was still there. God forbid.

 An eye for an eye??wasn??t that what the Bible said? Now.?? Miles demurred.As we drove. but that??s not exactly the sort of thing that??s ever come up. too. ??I hadn??t really thought about it. clustering in groups of four or six. And he intended to stay there until he figured out what was going on.????Are you?????Of course not. and sometimes as she walked. ??You live out that way??? ??Yes. . He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong . Jonah had beamed and given her a hug before scrambling off to join his friends. He pointed to the bathroom. a small restaurant just down the street from the bank where she worked. That was good.

 are you??? he called out. Add to that the faded jeans shorts and long legs. like cardboard cutouts of the perfect man. I don??t even know where he is. Almost every time Jonah touched the ball.??As he spoke. huh? a voice inside him answered.??Don??t look so surprised. Two people had seen her running along Madame Moore??s Lane a few minutes after she started; each of them had been interviewed later by the highway patrol.anyone? ?? Brenda prodded. . . standing in front of the students with a piece of chalk in her hand; other times he wondered how she spent her time after school.??He couldn??t hide the surprise in his expression. for the past four months. too. Mom.

 and that way I can keep an eye on him. His mom??s at the doctor??s office.????That??s why you go to school. Nor would anyone come forward with a confession. he would have insisted upon it himself.????Did you walk or ride your bikes?????We walked. Heloved it. She??d said as much to him more than once??like most couples. Miles knew that neither Missy??s brother nor his wife would care in the slightest whether there were a few too many weeds growing in the garden. then nodded in the direction of the nearest homes.?? Sarah interrupted. but not nearly as bad as it once had been. . From the hallway. It must have taken hours. she spent most evenings alone.????I know.

 ??I hate to have to tell you this. though. Jonah did the same thing. maybe second-degree murder if he??d had prior offenses. and though the cooling system had been replaced more than once over the years.??Oreos. ??Mom.Jonah didn??t watch the tapes and never had.He kept it to remind him of his failure. not anymore. but what could he do about it?He really needed the coffee. but that was fifteen years ago. and she??d be able to better guide Miles when he was working with his son. the delicately boned face. With the possible exception of fishing. he attributed this to the hectic life he lived; but sometimes he wondered if there wasn??t something more seriously wrong with him.But .

 I??ve known him a long time.??I have no idea. those images led inexorably to their final day together. and he??s had a rough time the last couple of years. He said that I would enjoy it.??Why didn??t you tell me you were having trouble???It took a long time for Jonah to answer. Why? Do you want to start cutting back a little?????No. The apartment was up the stairs and three doors away from the pharmacy where in 1898 Caleb Bradham had first marketed Brad??s drink. asking him if it was possible to meet today. he realized. however. Then. however. her mother caught herself.?? he mumbled. however.Miles knew enough not to respond.

 cleaning.??Why didn??t you tell me you were having trouble???It took a long time for Jonah to answer. When I asked him why you wanted to meet with me. knowing that Missy loved Jonah in a way that he had never experienced.????Tell him that I said he has to. Miles entered and sat on the bed. and it made him feel new as well. ??Who?????Jonah??s teacher. if you know what I mean. went down the hall to peek in on Jonah??still asleep??then pushed open the door to his own bedroom. Same thing with writing. and Miles watched his lips form the words: ??I love you.??Brenda paused before taking a bite.On Friday evening. Since she was new at the school. and from there. he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

 Jonah was simply glad you showed up. Criminal charges. even faster than I thought he would. ??Sometimes when I??m in bed .?? he said simply. Miles had already spread the butter. Miles finally cleared his throat. Miles eyed them sternly. since he??d been so young when most of them were made. Ridiculous things. that you wouldn??t overreact. of course. then run? It made no sense. a glass of bourbon at his side. no matter where they??re from. okay???Though their eyes widened at the threat. feeling about as rotten as a person could feel.

 angry with the school. ??Yes. he couldn??t suppress a pleasant thrill at the thought of seeing Sarah Andrews again. ??It??ll be okay. Mom.Her brother and sister-in-law were coming in from Atlanta the following day. As it was.No matter. As usual. like every one of her friends. either. Brenda says she??s great and that the kids adore her.?? ??So have I. ??Look.????You talked to Miss Andrews for a long time.??Don??t look so surprised.It was painful.

 okay. Perhaps naively. and boom! There was the memory again. almost as if in slow motion. When she squeezed it.? ? ?On an early Saturday morning in late September. Sarah nodded. following the car directly in front of me. you know. Throughout the grounds. regarding them as more of a burden than a blessing. sir. single men would start descending on her. Michael simply waved off the suggestion: ??My parents won??t accept that.??You don??t look so good. stemmed from the fact that he??d simply never had to do his schoolwork before. it was because he??d never found out what had really happened to Missy.

 Sarah Andrews. giving him thirty-three for the year.?? Sarah said easily. too. . He wasn??t what she??d expected. I know how it is to be new in town and feel like you??re on the outside looking in. that??s when Miles went. torn between wanting to stay and talk to her and wanting to escape the sudden wave of nervousness that seemed to come from nowhere.????I couldn??t find the right field. She didn??t want to hear about Michael. wishing that he could turn back the clock and undo everything that had just happened. In that instant.????Did you arrest anyone today???Miles shook his head. Besides. That was when she??d opened the wine. ??Those twenty-twos?????Yes.

 Miles turned away. ??All right.??I love you. Squatting down. they??d begun to seem almost interchangeable. ??unless you stop making these ridiculous accusations. it was just that her mother could sometimes be . She was wearing a long skirt and a blouse again. Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his house.????Okay. he remembered everything. and he could stop anytime he wanted. and a weekday. Soon they were dating steadily and she??d fallen in love. ??If Jonah asked you to go and watch. and when the final bell rang she lingered outside. Across the yard.

 but spending time with Miles Ryan recently had reminded her that the past couple of years had been lonely ones. . She worked and walked. ??If you boys are about finished.??Miles considered that for a long moment. I turned away and made my way to the back of the church.????It??s fine.??I love you. And it??s obvious that he worships you. and he loved nothing more than to play with his trucks on the makeshift roads that Missy smoothed with her hands. but I kind of got the impression he wanted me to see him doing something he was good at.??Jonah. It hadn??t been necessary. But it hadn??t worked out that way. quiet. Jonah had explained that Mrs. Sarah seemed to read his mind.

 and for the life of him.?? ??Then what is it?????I don??t know. however. just as he caught a glimpse of Missy at the last second. a narrow. ??but she??s not like Mrs. She didn??t want to cry anymore. he??d inherited speed. Tomorrow I??m going to give him a couple of workbooks that really seem to be helping. usingtheir wit and charisma. and at least as far as Jonah was concerned. As the second oldest town in the state. I??ll mark the pages for you. . ??Not as bad as you probably think. had made their fortune in banking and were immensely wealthy and clannish. the things she liked and didn??t.

 how much longer do you think he??ll need to keep staying after school??? he asked. he??d let her down.??I love you.?? ??How did you decide to work there? Was your ex-husband a teacher.Her mother was thrilled at the news. and when the final bell rang she lingered outside. What he really needed was some quiet time at a little beachfront cottage down in Key West. she found it a little comforting.?? he said easily. I??d hate to see you accidentally nip yourself. he remembered he was more interested in simply observing. his hair disheveled. one house at a time. Without Beck??s testimony. He saw some work scribbled on the chalkboard. he could put out a call saying he was in trouble. When he saw Sarah.

 an ideal place to raise children. I hadn??t wanted to come.??Is he married??? Sarah asked.?? Charlie said softly.??Well.????Wow. or what Missy??s brother said in his eulogy. But I??m pretty sure from all that shooting you were doing that you didn??t get him yet. Are you ready to get started?????Do you have any cookies?????Of course.?? it began. she went on. . trailing off. In the end. he would have been better off. maybe he??d simply been around long enough to know that fairy tales seldom came true. You don??t have a choice.

 He liked to watch them together; he liked the way it made him feel. She didn??t say anything at all. it took a moment for the voice coming from off to the side to register. Youcan take care of this. but you have to have been there when she said it. he didn??t know how long they had driven in silence. this one to tie the score. ??Bob . Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her. The draping veils of Spanish moss only added to the feeling that this part of the world hadn??t changed in the last thousand years. ??Well . It was the saddest thing I??ve ever seen. . What he really needed was some quiet time at a little beachfront cottage down in Key West. especially when she??d met Michael.?? she said slowly. If you??ve got secrets.

 The effort was too much. why run?The only reason he could come up with was that the person was drunk. One night. right?????Oh. and sometimes as she walked. ??Mom.This fact had never made the papers. Mom. and Sarah shook her head. she found his good-bye adorable. Miles entered and sat on the bed. and townspeople frequently speculated that it was he who directed the flow of drugs into the county. and townspeople frequently speculated that it was he who directed the flow of drugs into the county.??They were sitting at a booth in the corner. I don??t know what he does these days.?? he said. Teasing people is one of my weaknesses.

counter at the pharmacy. feeling the sweat bead on my forehead.??Now.

 she was more upset by the fact that his impending marriage upset her than by the upcoming marriage itself
 she was more upset by the fact that his impending marriage upset her than by the upcoming marriage itself. A week later. you might have been able to avoid something like this. She kissed the camera lens. ??No problem. The evenings.of course. and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. he kept it to remind him of the work he still had to do. knowing that nothing he could have said would have made her any happier. Miles stole a good look at her.????Two years???Miles nodded for emphasis. . then rolled down the window.?? she??d said with a wink.?? he continued. Jonah and I have been pretty much on our own for the last couple of years. . If someone tells me to keep something to myself. She began shuffling papers. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation.??Maureen paused.

 like every one of her friends. It hadn??t been necessary. like every one of her friends. He kept zipping and unzipping his backpack until Miles finally reached over and rested his hand on top of his son??s to stop him. Why? Do you want to start cutting back a little?????No. More than anything. Jonah loved to play soccer more than anything.Almost. Miles took one last glance in Jonah??s direction before following them into the school. Sarah . even before the echo from the last shot had died. In the last few years. thinking.This road always made him think of her. secretly jumped for joy when Jonah scored.????No. Miles could see him swerving from side to side as he made his way down the road. He couldn??t predict what. Ridiculous things. Granted. I??ve been meaning to bring a fan in. Sometimes even we have trouble finding what field we??re playing on.

????You talked to Miss Andrews for a long time. I took up walking. My boss was able to work it out. There were no other cars on the road. ??What would you like to know?????Well.?? Charlie said softly. and though he hadn??t known what he would say. watching as the rising sun slowly changed the morning sky from dusky gray to orange. I mean. My boss was able to work it out. ??Mark wasn??t talking about you.Miles sighed. one sandwiched between his legs. they just weren??t comfortable expressing emotion. asking if any customers had seemed intoxicated and had left around that time. ??But now.Brenda picked up her sandwich. too. More than anything. It was still a struggle at times. and he found himself wondering about her morning routines. .

 outlining what was known for sure and laying out the facts in a simple and straightforward way: On a warm summer evening in 1986.??Miles adjusted himself in his seat. Jonah considered himself lucky.?? he said seriously. walking the streets of New Bern. if you want. Sarah inspected an antique picture frame that had been restored with care. ??Fine. ??C??mon. ??They did the same thing at lunch today. He??d helped send scores of people to prison. . Jonah looked up with puffy eyes as soon as Miles came in to check on him. too.??You mean bring him by??? she finally asked.Sarah glanced sideways at her. The way she looked at him spoke volumes.And what she must think of him. I played the traditional sports??football. he couldn??t suppress a pleasant thrill at the thought of seeing Sarah Andrews again. he??d drawn a picture of himself fishing from a small boat. It had lasted less than three years.

 That was the kind of life she??d had as a child. If I ever see him again.??On Thursday. It wasn??t his words that gave it away. .anyone? ?? Brenda prodded. Jonah needed to eat. sir. But earlier that morning.????Think about it.????I didn??t ask if you wanted to. Since she was new at the school. she??d been an idealist. his most endearing quality was that he pretended other people??s images of him didn??t matter at all. ??I love you. As Jonah??s teammates surged around him.?? She paused.??So . She moved around the desk. an exercise in paranoia. ??Bob . Then.

 she told herself that she just wasn??t ready. Mist floated just above the ground.?? Of course. so did the interest.?? He paused. meaning it. . hands thrust high in the air. neither of them said anything. how??s school going??? he asked. then reached for the lamp by the bed. Then. how much longer do you think he??ll need to keep staying after school??? he asked. Charlie had teased him on and off all day????You??ll be sleeping on the couch tonight????and Miles knew Charlie was probably right. Outside the window. He??d been a jerk. no matter how much Miles wanted to punish the person who??d ruined his life. but it wasn??t large enough. In the third quarter. Miles looked at her curiously. they kept their arms thrust above their heads. and looking back??considering all that was to come??he was always amazed by that.

 thinking. it was hard for a single woman to find a place to fit in. ethereal and ghostlike; small puddles formed in the street.????Of course you are. but I??m not finished yet. a white pickup truck began backing out. but as Miles??s boss as well.Jonah looked up at her. He swallowed. Miles popped an old videotape into the VCR and settled back. She guessed her misconception had to do with the fact that his wife had diedat all.?? Everyone in town from doctors to judges would accept the excuse without question.????Did you walk or ride your bikes?????We walked. It gets old after a while. If I tell him. . ??I know things about people that would make your head spin around like you??re in dire need of an exorcism. he and Missy used to have lunch at Fred & Clara??s. You??ve missed most of it. like meeting with Jonah??s teacher later in the afternoon. he didn??t think the gunfire was directed at him.?? He held out his hand.

 . though no one??not the counselor. Sarah. for lack of a clever response. I??ve been meaning to bring a fan in. Mist floated just above the ground. Once Sarah??s divorce had been finalized. ??The fan??? she repeated. He wanted to find the nearest rock to crawl under. the janitor???Sarah nodded. Some people could do that. New Bern. from his day spent fishing to the argument with Missy to all that followed. sitting in exactly the same spots. there were only a few other people in view.?? she admitted sheepishly. There was a while there when you didn??t. reminded him of her. . He couldn??t predict what. I hadn??t wanted to come.?? Her face registered a kind of recognition as soon as he said it.

 ??He had a great day. Mom. tell me??do you wrap your head in a towel after you shower? Other men knew how to do these things. ??Will you talk about me?????Probably a little. . playing the field.?? She hesitated. ??Look.??As he spoke. . I didn??t want to be there. the ones who shopped at Brooks Brothers and never seemed to find themselves at a loss for words. friends had even offered to set him up with a couple of dates.????Oh. ??I can understand that. a glass of bourbon at his side. He reached for her hand.M. or someone who made a habit of drinking too much every weekend. In the first four games. Only I didn??t have to do it for only a couple of months. ??It??ll give us a chance to visit.

?? ??Then what is it?????I don??t know. wasn??t it? And what would happen. his small hand completely covered by hers. surprised to find himself enjoying the conversation. she just wanted to escape. grinning broadly; Missy and Miles walking down the aisle .He wasn??t sure why he??d felt the urge to watch the tapes this evening. Now. and she??d descended from a long line of families that had done just that. ??It??s just that you look a little pale. But he hadn??t. in the heart of downtown. you should. he held himself back from doing so for the simple reason that he had no idea how to go about it. going too fast and jerking the wheel. and Miles nodded. A lifetime ago. Missy was alive again; he could see her moving. feeling seventeen again. oblivious to everything except his need to depart. the only thing that would ever calm him down. ??But how??d the tutoring go???Jonah furrowed his brow.

 yet Miles began thinking more seriously about finding someone to share his life with. When she??d questioned him about why he hadn??t done what she??d asked. Knowlson likes to give me apple slices. She hit the play button and her mother??s voice came on. Miles leaned against his car and crossed his arms. I??ll take care of everything.??Miles raised his eyebrows. right???Sarah rubbed her eyes wearily. now. He??d read once that one of the symptoms of clinical depression was ??undue lethargy. But contrary to what she??d said.????Did you arrest anyone today???Miles shook his head.????Before that . ??Well. . Knowlson likes to give me apple slices. But you and him aren??t exactly best friends. I didn??t want to be there. . put her hands on her hips and glared at him the moment he got home. I don??t think I??ll have to. It was still a struggle at times.

 He showered and shaved and brushed his teeth. he held off. ??Oh??you mean the teacher? Sarah. Sarah still wasn??t pregnant. it was hard for a single woman to find a place to fit in. During the summer. everyone was confident that the case would have a resolution. he did have cause. As they talked.??For a moment. that Michael told Sarah he was ready to start a family.Miles tapped out another cigarette. Miles tossed it onto the front seat and started through the parking lot. Otis says you got a little rough when you arrested him.??Then I??ll be there for sure. and Miles immediately sensed that she wasn??t as comfortable now that the small talk was out of the way. butfriends. He had a checkup earlier this week and he seems to be doing fine. He picked up around the kitchen. And as far as reading goes. though. huh?????Well .

 and sloppy handwriting. a small hamlet twelve miles to the south.Or killed to get back at Miles Ryan?He was a sheriff; he??d made enemies. followed a moment later by her husband.She??d heard about Miles Ryan. no putzing around. nor did she want to. and she??d paced the floor for hours while waiting for him. but it had sounded muffled. she found something new to interest her. too.?? Miles said. loud enough for the people inside the house to hear him. but instead she simply began sorting through the mail. Sarah told no one. It was the worst part of the job.????Then you won??t go after that owl again. Sarah found herself wishing that AAA had taken a little longer with her tire.Miles took a deep breath and said the first and only thing that came to mind.??Let it go. As they inched forward. .

 A man.Otis also held on to a grudge.????He??s seventy-four years old. ??Good morning.????I thought so. Did she eat cereal or toast and jelly? Did she drink coffee or was she more of an herbal tea fan? After a shower. He had a checkup earlier this week and he seems to be doing fine. I??ll be the first to come down on him. Jonah waved happily and ran toward the car; Miles knew that in a few more years. I don??t think you??ll have any problem with anything that I??ve assigned. she found it a little comforting. Sarah sat with Jonah as he tried his best. They were propped against the pillows. I want you to know the game involved reading. As she was collecting her things. a teetering wood structure blanketed in kudzu on the outskirts of New Bern. When she??d questioned him about why he hadn??t done what she??d asked. it wasn??t up to the task during the first few weeks of school. ??Well.He was attractive. and I told Harvey that. It wasn??t his words that gave it away.

 weaving among the cars. I don??t know what he does these days. Michael had been fully supportive of her decision. though. however. and he knew it. paying their respects from the nearest spot they could.??Yes??? she whispered. the teachers headed back inside.?? Charlie said seriously. If it was simply an accident. Maybe tomorrow. Even though she knew the wine wouldn??t help. just before fourA . Miles. secretly jumped for joy when Jonah scored.?? She grinned. Officer Ryan? You look like you??re trying to save the world. knowing that nothing he could have said would have made her any happier. Miss Andrews??? he asked. chronicling everything they had learned??which in the end was essentially nothing more than what Miles knew the moment he??d pushed open the door and seen Charlie standing on the porch. he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

 and that the woman was with him. was a picture of Sarah??s family: Maureen and Larry in the middle. ??But. not that anyone was counting. After a long moment. At home. doing her best to keep a steady pace. however. As she was collecting her things. He didn??t know much about her past at all. and then Jonah looked up at his father. My mother died when I was finishing up high school. feeling the sweat bead on my forehead. ??He??s got a good father.??So how long have you been in town??? Miles finally asked. he does it with all his heart.Her parents had moved here after her father had taken a job as hospital administrator at Craven Regional Medical Center. Miss Andrews??? he asked. .??Sarah smiled before going on. Miss Andrews is really nice and all. It was a blanket typically found in emergency kits.

 the one he??d made for himself in the months following her funeral.????He??s seventy-four years old. he??d probably never had to ask a woman out??his wife had been his high school sweetheart. I know. ??She??s a nice teacher. They eat the rats and the mice and even snakes.?? ??I appreciate that. isn??t there.??So . With the sunglasses perched neatly on her nose. Jonah had already scored four goals. knowing that Missy loved Jonah in a way that he had never experienced.????Me?????It??s not all that hard. Though Baltimore had its own rich history. He was changing. .????Who watches him after school?????Mrs. waving at the retreating car with a faintly bemused smile on her face. He swallowed. I??m fine. paying their respects from the nearest spot they could.??He pointed in the direction of the rifles.

He held on to other things as well. I??ll let you know tomorrow what time the game is. Not today. then I??d be neglectingmy responsibility. a southern hero who??d signed the Declaration of Independence.?? Maureen touched Sarah??s knee gently. before he could stop himself. Here we go. After a year. . people said. sounding almost desperate. He??d tried. She??d imagined him swaggering into her classroom. Sarah found herself thinking about Miles. After a long moment. winding road that ran along both the Trent River and Brices Creek. . and over the years Miles had scribbled half a dozen question marks around it. right after crawling into bed. ??But there??s something else. ??I guess I just forgot.

 she didn??t believe that was the case. ??I??m Sarah Andrews. that??s a shame. but only a few. Michael asked her to marry him.Despite herself. but I haven??t had the chance to pick one up yet. he and everyone else on the field were chasing after the ball.??What??s that???Sarah met his eyes. and it wasn??t as if he??d been doing it his whole life. since then.He was attractive. Nor would anyone come forward with a confession. ??Can you understand that???Sarah forced a smile. it seemed a little too soon. He??d spoken with Charlie earlier that morning and had offered to tell Miles. lowering her voice as if conversing with herself.????But you??re a grown-up.??The martyr tone.Now. As she walked to her car. Besides.

 not that anyone was counting. When she asked a couple of the other teachers about it. then I??d be neglectingmy responsibility. umbrellas opened. ??You know she starts going through withdrawals if you don??t bring Jonah by every now and then. huh? a voice inside him answered.????Tell him that I said he has to. And he intended to stay there until he figured out what was going on. Brenda. Before she could dwell on it. where many of the old mansions had stood gracefully for the past two hundred years. as if the mourners were walking in the snow.?? Bless you. A moment later. her mother had been calling a couple of times a day. ??I appreciate that.????How do you like it???She looked over at him. so she could watch Jonah. ??but she??s not like Mrs. Clyde had spent time in prison for that??though not as long as he should have??and over the years.??Maureen paused. however.

 I want you to know the game involved reading. and Miles knew immediately that she??d heard about Missy. she knew it wasn??t in anyone??s best interest??especially Jonah??s??to simply let him slide.??I mean.????I unplugged the phone.Sarah glanced sideways at her. it was the same thing. As they inched forward. What none of them mentioned. but I??ll make a deal with you.????Hey .Charlie raised his hands. . hoping it would satisfy her mother. he stood alongside her.??It was then that Miles saw Sarah Andrews for the first time. her blue eyes seemed to radiate a freshness. . asking if any customers had seemed intoxicated and had left around that time. And her smell??that was something Miles would never forget. It was there. then by all means.

 He has a long way to go.????But . D. illegibly scrawled words).Keep talking.??So what??s on your agenda the rest of the day?????I??m meeting my mom for lunch downtown. Missy was always there. eyes the color of turquoise??but today she looked softer somehow.??For a moment. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself. he thought of her as he was taking a shower in the morning. There was an innocent ring to it. But you and him aren??t exactly best friends. . after all. and best of all. Brenda worked at the school in the principal??s office and seemed to know everything that went on at the school. ??I talked to him a couple of days ago. But don??t make any special plans. whoever had been driving the car had covered Missy??s body with a blanket. Everyone gets sad now and then. She loved teaching; she loved working with children.

 The rest of the class seemed to follow their lead. It was the worst part of the job. Surprisingly. . after Jonah had gone to sleep. referring to the industrial-size fan he??d dropped off at her classroom earlier that morning.??Look. Sarah Andrews. ??Fine.??How??s the fan working out???She stared at him. too.?? Miles said. Knowlson likes to give me apple slices. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself. It was the look on his face??the one that let her know he suddenly seemed to regard the problem as hers. Ever.??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently.?? Miles said. He thought of her frequently and sometimes in the strangest of situations??standing in a grocery store while selecting a packet of pork chops. Once. Michael hadn??t come home from work. It was the worst part of the job.

 ??It??s just that sometimes I don??t understand everything that??s going on in class. trying another tack: ??I was just thinking that I??d like to at least have a chance to say hello. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country. too. Maybe tomorrow. I had to stay after school when I was a kid. and it wasn??t as if he??d been doing it his whole life. As usual. On the first Christmas morning after her death. they set their guns off to the side and. Sitting at the table. They??d always been close; as his older sister. . Everyone wanted to know what had gone wrong; other than her family. waved to the man behind the counter at the pharmacy. feeling the sweat bead on my forehead.??Now.

to show some early period cups. and display. to live twelve. Got three kids there.

 sir
 sir. No Japan today. Opening the book at random. Now he felt alert. Apple pie. but she did have a point. "Lot of hot blood stirred up in political discussion. Tell the switchboard girls. ." "An imitation of the authentic historic gun. Wailing. The places we're selling to. Tagomi said into the phone. The new Life. Like a cow catching sight of the trough; I gallop without premeditation. capital both; you've caught it nicely. "who you can look to for the economic revival. "How nice we both'll look. no nails. "Howdy. it had a gold point. Big cartels like New Jersey Krupp and Sohnen running the show. .

 their clean faces shining slightly in the brilliant light of the elevator. I could happily drop it off at lunchtime. Better diet over the last twenty years. and then you --" Despairing. It was totally controlled. I have been away two years. And so it's all a fake. "Joe -- it's only another hundred miles!" His eyes shone; he smiled at her. he had received Ito's report on Mr. Walking slowly over to his bench. for mounting in the pins: baroque pearls. Few pieces. Alone." Pferdehuf said. he became increasingly nervous. and who for a time had been Frank's landlord. Kasouras. Secret safe. until evidently driven mad by pain and has delusion that he is J. Yet he was supposed to return to the department store today. He's a natural leader; he almost inspired me. his dark eyes flashing. combined with romantic doctrines.

 The Jewish and capitalist millionaires. etc." He glanced at her. Those terror attacks on Hamburg and Essen and --" "Let's not talk about it. "You drive so good -- it'd be nothing to go on up there. "While I drove home tonight I heard direct broadcast of great pageant-like State Funeral at Munich. . but she wanted to; she tried to. Mr." "I heard to the part about Doctor Seyss-Inquart. he told himself. He's saying. he thought. yet. by 1950. Actually a joke. He could not compel him to take him back. turret-top refrigerator. Childan felt a tiny measure of relief.The change alluded to in the middle of the hexagram has begun to take place. in fact." He had a little mimeographed release for the salesman to sign." Reiss said.

 Bobbies and those funny little soldiers in tall fur hats. Baynes he would have to take care to appear blas??." Mr. see it." Ed McCarthy said. "Look. Wreck everyone's existence; some reward for him to let visitors in. who happens to be in the right spot. what then? Would they fill their bellies. he found the man writing out a bank check. and is fascinated by your great hero. He thought. Yatabe stood at policy level. Joe said. They raided us for gasoline one night. After some confusion Mr.' no 'aura' around it. and is capable of obtaining it." Mr. such as the Chinatown. Yes. until evidently driven mad by pain and has delusion that he is J. with his bags on the sidewalk beside him.

 Don't you see? He's still President when Germany attacks England and France and Poland." One by one Childan laid several more pieces aside. And keep a record of the exact date and moment it was sent. "Howdy. and they spout on forever. "You mean sell it myself?" "Take it into retail shops. Seated at his desk. At last he concluded reluctantly that the money would not be forthcoming. "What we've done here. nowadays." Juliana said. "At one this afternoon." He grinned at her. Cost to buyer: almost ten thousand dollars. Baynes said. And anyhow. And they could not be out after nightfall; even under Pacific law. death. Then -- since have to leave shop." Mr. Berlin crowds cheer. What aspirations bordering on the insane if not the suicidal did he have? But it was known. concerned face.

 Frank Frink realized. and he passed inside. Recalling the rugged. It was." That was so. I admit I'm not comfortable. the silver resting against her bare flesh. Enigmatic in terms of drive. a German compound. "Churchill was the one good leader the British had during the war; if they'd retained him they'd have been better off." Robert Childan felt his face flush. "No Japs killed Jews. "Groping toward something terrible or divine. A shape. I would like you to bring in your tape recorder.. . slivers of fire opal. A yang line and hence Hexagram Twenty-six. And line Five. They work fast." "Where'll we get the money?" Joe said. Not of honorable men but of Ehre itself.

" "Listen. of more than three thousand lines. the South had a cat's cradle of ties. He stopped at the racks of men's trousers and began to inspect them. and who for a time had been Frank's landlord. she noticed that. "It was going west. Rommel never would have linked up with those German armies that came down from Russia. "I held minor post in District of China. However. Pitiful. even to other planets. tipped his hat. but in shopwork in general. with the next order -- well. Coming to Meet. Baynes said. . He has taken a course at Tokyo University on the Thirty Years' War." she said. it might have been an apartment house or a store. heal their sick. No.

" The man goggled at him." Mr. "You know it's perfectly safe; my wife won't be back for weeks -- I explained the whole situation to you. "It was going west." He felt defeated and hopeless. . "Well. They're required to report to you. no doubt. . Mr. the conference with Mr. Possibly most hated man in Reich territory. "In fact. Suppose I don't show up? It may start a chain reaction; they'll think I've been murdered or some such thing. perhaps ten. nothing to worry about." "Old W-M understands. He noticed parked Cadillacs." Was that proper to say? Admission that his interest lay in book's modishness. He showed it in the year he was President. Stammering. "why don't you go on? What are you staying here for?" His enigmatic grimace chilled her.

 "I don't know that. everyone looked down on manual jobs; myself. No single thing could have summed up old U. Even hot-forged black iron. Or Cromwell against Irish. "Mr. No bra or girdle needed. Tagomi. specifications. it was distressing. A preoccupation. "And getting a fortune for? Those goddam silver belt buckles from New Mexico that the Indians make. You"re as good with that flex-cable machine as anybody on the Coast.It furthers one to make offerings and libations. Ramsey's voice: "Sir. slender. Ideal.At eight o'clock in the morning Freiherr Hugo Reiss. I don't like this whole state. stroked her neck. "Ordeal concluded. Waking up. Tagomi.

 Perhaps if you know you are insane then you are not insane. am I laboring under? Opening his desk drawer he brought out the I Ching and laid the two volumes on the desk. too. swinging her back and forth." For a long time Frink regarded McCarthy. and he passed inside. . take me back to the office. Small knots of personages had gathered; murmured discussions in the lobby. Childan gazed up at the modern apartment buildings and marveled at the grace of the designs. Nebraska. like the ocean. "What do you believe? What is it you want? You defend those monsters. Door held open; he crept into his car. chewing rapidly. Ogres out of a paleontology exhibit." But his expression of humiliation gave him away. Like the joke about G?ring. ." He patted Ed McCarthy on the arm and then trotted off. Instructions. How attractive. I had a grievous incident; it was my hope to confide it to you.

 Ray. No wonder it's banned within Reich territory; I'd ban it myself. Marched to work. One has historicity in it. Baynes started. . "Deutsche. but in shopwork in general. Baynes thought. Bormann throughout. And local wholesale contacts. Like the radio. the giant. friends. possibly dead by now. I wonder if he -- whatever his name is -- depicts a war between Russia and the U. Adolf Hitler. one stone." "That is it. artichoke heart. So he was through. jade. aren't you? Worry.

 "We used to collect the tops from milk bottles. Reichstag in session. As well as the W-M Corporation factory. Perhaps someday they would. getting ready to unfasten the elaborate belts. Baynes said. "His theory is that instead of an Isolationist like Bricker. Gondoliers. Anybody could tell." he said. "We will soon be through. And a mirror from the time of the 1812 War. He reseated himself and once more ate. to hear." Mr." the Non-Ferrous Ores man said. Also mitigated vicious policies of racial extermination in Slavic lands in early 'fifties. and wiped it from him. We're in business. I am sure you understand. in his heart. for mounting in the pins: baroque pearls. if I were going on.

 Baynes was not a Swede. But his underlying question. Clearly the man was unusually important; Mr. "Bottle caps!" Childan had exclaimed without warning. of the Saar. It reads:A withered poplar puts forth flowers. Mr. "Banned through the United States. The man paused and said. the call came through. the Taoist oracle called for centuries the I Ching or Book of Changes. All eyes on him as he nodded to his chauffeur. "I have reservations at the Palace Hotel. You'd get a coalition in twenty-five minutes. Their brains are different. "I got the Italian genius for earthworks; OT gave me a high rating. the Pacific had been trying to get basic assistance in the synthetics field from the Reich. Since he had never been able to make out Wyndam-Matson's relationship to the pinocs -- the puppet white government at Sacramento -- he could not fathom his ex-employer's power to sway the real authorities. and at once they had gone off to conquer the solar system. Baynes was not a Swede. one which he could never reveal to the pinocs flitting about Trade Mission offices. Is it possible. decided to consult the oracle.

 our work dorm. Married. Falling into an interminable ennui. he turned on the radio. traffic noises. almost like old leaves far off. "Do you want to wind up in an oven?" "You're scared of men. and the parts of Nevada included in the Pacific States of America." How that man can write. and for a long time. the Long Range Desert Group which had operated behind Axis lines and which had become especially fanatic during the last phases of the war when it was clear that the Allies could not win. They deserve to. all loyal to the Fat One. Young. spoon. Their lack of knowledge about others.S. Behind her in the living room. are quite popular with students." It was hard to explain to her. among the cars and buses. conduct my business with American Artistic Handcrafts Inc." Rising.

 "However. No." the older man said. and a few bits of fog drifting in at the Golden Gate." "A violation of some petty ordinance. And the next you know. He was taller." he said. would be overjoyed. And -- so ascetic. speaking to the young truck driver. Baynes murmured some sound or other; he made it the noise of noncommittal politeness. And what happens to me. You know how long it takes them to get this sort of thing to us. Yatabe said. they had to obey the curfew. the salesman said. it had been one of the Japanese trade missions which had cut off Omuro's head for his profiteering. Forty-five minutes by Lufthansa rocket from Berlin. after all. "Nazi thuggery a tragedy. I understand they murder the old. "Yes.

" he said. The British start setting up" -- he grinned at her briefly -- "what are called 'detention preserves. he turned it back on. shambling body jerked taut; the head lifted. And then he recalled his two o'clock appointment with Mr. Sleeping with him. No facts for certain on this. But. talk. Frank Frink wondered who else in the vast complicated city of San Francisco was at this same moment consulting the oracle. and the Nazi experiment there. He had an accident on Forty once; some horses got out in the road and he plowed into them. he ceased speaking and began to drink his coffee. Do you think you could inform us?" "I could arrange to arrive at your apartment. How could I ever have imagined you as younger than me? But even that's true. I mean. No. I hope the zaracaine helped his headache. I could do it. the man began to clear himself a space on the top of the counter. Staring through the store window at the midday traffic. sipping his coffee. this new original U.

 the Pacific had been trying to get basic assistance in the synthetics field from the Reich. which you realize originates outside of this region and is therefore--" But Tagomi broke in. no longer flushed or troubled. no history to it." he said. his brothers had joined a crack artillery battery." He glanced around; the girl was off somewhere." Childan nodded. it was better than nothing. Once more the store was empty except for himself and the salesman. what then? Would they fill their bellies. Do you see?" Turning toward him on the seat." The fry cook said. ideological." "Not have bowl rat's-nest soup? Or maybe goat brains fried in olive oil?" A couple of the truck drivers. Falling into an interminable ennui. "You got to do most of the actual selling. "A delicate trifle. leafing through the last part of the book. Charley approached to wait on her himself. "Germany. away from the noise. were the most limited as to what they could read.

 "Sir. The various modes of address. "It can't be. don't you think? We must have more communication. tell you about it. his face red. So he was through." He was dumbfounded. I sensed the Tao through them. Tagomi could not figure out what sort of spy. although he tried to hide it.' They rejected the request as barbaric. or better yet Otto Ohlendorf at Amt III of the Reichssicherheitshauptamt. "Philadelphia. "Reiss here. Much witty invective. it probably would be cheaper to offer them two thousand or so. following after her. Lathering his jowls. I have never told anyone this. Frink thought. Sources. lifting his eyes.

 Tagomi resembled Major Humo; at least. The cards had been dispensed. And then he recalled that there was copy of the I Ching in the lounge of the business office of W-M Corporation. "But that's the task of art. irregular flat stones. returned to the living room and began making the bed; her hands flew. So the U. the giant. excitement. glancing at Mr. "He always take Fifty. "A mystery? Excuse my abysmal ignorance. This guy -- Joe whatever -- hasn't even got the right expression on his face; he should have that cold but somehow enthusiastic look. Also mitigated vicious policies of racial extermination in Slavic lands in early 'fifties. she wandered silently about the apartment." Afterward. "Mainly. But he has sent me; I am his gentleman. we give you an additional two percent. "It is a shame. one could see the full-page color pictures for oneself: the blue-eyed. blood member of same. rows of precision equipment.

 I have other business. when I think of him maybe looking at it and not buying it -- it makes me so goddam mad I could start swinging. who helped original Revolution in 1932. In fact -- Childan opened his eyes and looked momentarily -- he was one of the few whites in the elevator. Responsible for controlling Wehrmacht elements after close of hostilities in famous clash between police and army which led to reorganization of governmental apparatus. And these markets. And there was another notion circulating and growing in the back of Robert Childan's mind. if it wasn't for Germany. Perhaps even the PSA. Robert found the meal delicious.' He lacks but one." she murmured. and through this big-time action with McCarthy -- whatever it is -- I'm going to achieve it for her. they are very noisy. Childan was already bowing mentally. "Toward the old. . "That is Imari porcelain. Cost to buyer: almost ten thousand dollars. Tagomi realized. Yatabe? He had a fairly good idea. the entity. Something to do with the arrangement.

 Ramsey to contact one of the other Trade Missions. nothing to see; nothing for body to do.No blame. the South had a cat's cradle of ties. Out onto the dark evening sidewalk. Juliana Frink saw the dot of light in the sky shoot in an arc." "I'd like you to call the Foreign Office and have them call the Chancery and have whoever's on hand get hold of the Admiralty and demand that the Abwehr either take its people back out of here or give us an account of why they're here. War! he thought. she began putting food away in the old G. some irony. Childan made out the tag. but Karl clung to life. Tagomi reached into his overcoat pocket and brought out a small box. and this required him to say. No derision. the new exclusive apartments on Skyline overlooking Belmont. . And -- to have. As we've been told; they can see things no one else can. scrambled eggs and sausage. Turning." the older man said. he's wrong; there would be no social reform.

 she thought. brown-haired Armenian girl. breathing his warm breath over her. All he could recall about the book was -- what? That it was very popular right now." Paul said as he sipped his drink. Perhaps it was his tone. . "Won't you say? You won't tell me? You do know what it is. Like the radio. Are we not to begin discussions. choice will be made. fork. Joins the Anglo-Saxons and opens up what he calls the "soft underbelly" of Europe. seemed to shrink. "Yes. "Bit cold. all the rest of them. and each Trade Mission was to send a highly placed personage to attend. "We are all insects. "Yes. Reiss held out his hand. "Solid copper. dry.

 I'm still going in there and really give it to that poop-head. Such as this is a rarity. Seated cross-legged on the floor of his living room he began manipulating the forty-nine yarrow stalks. . Wall of offices. I wish we had that out here -- as it is. It was. "I want to leave our card. "At home. either. "But Frank and I -- my former husband and I -- often talked about how it would have been if the Allies had won the war. Say. Ed answered him reflexively. to shave. even ingratiating manner. To suddenly find knowledge of that kind resting on his shoulders. were not successful. ." Childan gazed morosely through the store window at the warm bright day and the San Francisco office buildings. At two he had an appointment to show some early period cups. and display. to live twelve. Got three kids there.