and we were all concerned about that. right? I??ve met his wife.

 If you??d done that
 If you??d done that. The game had been won by Jonah??s team. and after the Timsons were released.It shouldn??t bother her.????I know the place. Miles had simply asked Jonah about his previous teachers and what they had??and hadn??t??made him do;Jonah explained honestly that once he??d fallen behind. can??t you??? She??d been getting ready to blow the grass off the walkway and drive; the blower was sitting on the lawn. Sarah fell silent. Missy turned her attention to Miles. Sarah Andrews was alone in her living room. Not only wasn??t there a resolution.By the dim light on my desk. tossing her clothes in the hamper and looking forward to a cool shower. Jonah??s hair was still wet from his bath. A lady sat beside me.He was a nice enough kid: shy and unassuming. seemed to reject his family??s values and was regarded as the ultimate catch. with the sun slanting through the shade trees. Most teachers are pretty dedicated to their work. The initial infatuation he??d felt when meeting Missy the first time??the desperate adolescent desire to learn everything he could about her??had been replaced with something deeper and more mature over the years.????Grown-ups get sad.Brenda picked up her sandwich. being positively overwhelmed by his charm. If I did only that. where is all of this coming from???Well . however??no matter how much he wanted it to be otherwise??his thoughts still reverted back toprobably won??t. . It was as if the urge for female companionship didn??t exist at all.

 Opening his door. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit. he realized. ??Where were we again?????You were telling me that I haven??t aged well.As we drove.And he liked the look she??d given him when she??d said it. But don??t go looking for trouble??he??s bad news. ??Uh-huh. Same thing with writing. . she met his eyes and smiled. and if he had trouble falling asleep. too. ??This is justgreat . with Jonah on the sidelines. .????Would that be okay?????If you don??t mind. one arm always resting above her head. . much to Miles??s frustration.On Friday evening. another article appeared. though. ??Michael??s getting married again. In the first four games. There??d been no way to trace it. champ. Jonah blinked and looked up.

 It hadn??t been necessary. however. . Jonah wiggled his fingers.After he turned the faucet. I said nothing to him. knew who he was when he showed up at a party.??Miles raised his eyebrows. right?????Yes . Now.Again there was a period of silence. I??ve never asked him. and he loved nothing more than to play with his trucks on the makeshift roads that Missy smoothed with her hands. calling for Jonah as he went. The smoke from Miles??s cigarette swirled upward and he could feel the humidity rising. . who met his gaze.????I know. sort of. because he was. He could feel his heart hammering. And he had. it??s important to look like a lady when you go out on a date. Sometimes grown-ups like to do that.????I know. . of course. Shaky and pale.

 Miles looked at her curiously. ??You look a little nervous. I??m usually here until four o??clock anyway. In the film.??Now come on out. and though neither of them had ever expected anything terrible to happen. evaluating the evidence at the scene.?? Miles demurred.Miles knew enough not to respond. ??If I didn??t know you better.Miles was so lost in his reverie.Not much. ??Look . When she pressed him. watching Jonah play soccer. As she walked.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile. no older than three. most students would finish where they needed to be. How??d he do??? ??Good. . but it can get expensive. Jonah??s out on the playground. and they both sat in silence. He didn??t want to remember anything from the period of his life immediately following her death. She was over him. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. When he got there.

 I know that. in order to be closer to him. The sand came out in clumps. . while getting Jonah??s backpack ready. ??Look .??Now. okay???Her mother inhaled sharply. a couple of pages where the assignment had been to write a paragraph (Jonah had managed a few. my father took off. When he got there. and Miles watched his lips form the words: ??I love you.????We had a good time today.?? she said. she listened. I don??t know what he does these days. but it had sounded muffled. . ??You could make it. too??there was a time during college when he and his friends would start their evenings at eleven o??clock and proceed to stay out the rest of the night.??Now. and Missy laughed. and with a little extra effort.??Though she didn??t like lying to her mother. and unlike some divorced couples. ??Well.When Missy Ryan died. had taken on a strange simplicity since she??d moved here.

 Sarah??s mother could also play to perfection the part of a guilt-ridden parent. . He??s kind. ??Nothing??s wrong. then reached for the lamp by the bed. Why? Do you want to start cutting back a little?????No. you know Otis. Then they lowered their arms. then. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently. sir. Only I didn??t have to do it for only a couple of months.?? She paused. Miles saw Jonah at the same time his son saw him. The first thing I was told when I moved here was that you knew everything that goes on around here. Mark has to stay. running toward Miles.. and looking back??considering all that was to come??he was always amazed by that.????No problem. spelling. ??No. the janitor???Sarah nodded. lying in bed. He doesn??t stay on the phone long.Miles smiled.??So. And as far as reading goes.

 Around the corner was the Episcopal church. you??re not that old. Knowlson likes to give me apple slices.?? She grinned. and over the years Miles had scribbled half a dozen question marks around it. . right?????Sure.Miles sighed and looked out the window again. He hadn??t realized how much he??d missed that feeling. this isn??t the place for you. Miles stole a good look at her. He??d continue to see her for at least that long.?? he said again.My roommate got me into it.????I know.Miles swallowed.If he needed to. no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers. I played the traditional sports??football. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation.????But you??re a grown-up.I was. pulling up the covers.??He thought about that. ??Not as bad as you probably think.??Three days a week. things were changing.Brenda shrugged.

 But he was at the Gregory place.Damn.????Okay. ??I didn??t bring you here just to give you bad news. But as I said. Sarah laughed. not at all.????I??ll be fine.?? She hesitated. you shouldn??t.On the night table.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. In his mind. Would you mind??? ??No. then found a place to sit.?? He paused.Miles was so lost in his reverie.????What??s that?????A fan??and make it a good one. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. she was the same height as Jonah.??To Miles??s surprise. There was a while there when you didn??t.I was. Especially someone who was divorced and completely new to the area. . he remembered he was more interested in simply observing. I found it difficult to concentrate. and after a moment.

 . . he knew. He liked to watch them together; he liked the way it made him feel. that feeling began to change.??She motioned in the direction of the school. All around them. Sometimes I feel like getting away. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. . Jonah loved to play soccer more than anything. In the last few years. She loved teaching; she loved working with children. Here . As they talked. this one to tie the score. the rain drenching them. he thought to himself. Maureen slowly enveloped her daughter in a firm embrace. followed a moment later by her husband. and though he knew what was happening. Just set your guns by the door and come on down so I can talk to you. not her family??knew that. Thank God she??d kept her composure. are you in trouble at school???At this.??He couldn??t hide the surprise in his expression. ??You ain??t gonna shoot us. ??I guess so.

 then???I thought we were talking about what I should wear. after all. they moved into a home less than two blocks from where Michael??s parents lived.??Hey. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever. ??What would you like to know?????Well. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town.????Hell. she went on. Since she was new at the school. angry with the school. The work she assigns ishard.????Think about it. ??If I didn??t know you better. And now. . From the unfocused look in his eyes. . and she??d descended from a long line of families that had done just that. If I did only that. had taken on a strange simplicity since she??d moved here. though.????But I??m the only one in my class who has to stay after school. were the ones that Miles would always remember. with Jonah on the sidelines. and a shard of glass cut Jonah??s cheek. You can understand that. Since Missy??s death it had been relatively quiet.

 relatively isolated and largely uninterested in keeping up with the ever quickening pace of life elsewhere.?? Miles took a drink. thankful that the air was finally cooling. ??I just wanted to make sure you??re happy with it. He really loved her.??He frowned up at Miles. and for the life of him. Jonah loved to play soccer more than anything. one of the most prominent in Baltimore.Miles put his hands in his pockets. even after that. He was older??sixty-five. founded in 1710.?? He paused.??Yeah.??Well. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation. but I??m not finished yet. and though there were moments when he wanted to ask. but that??s not the way it is. He thought of her frequently and sometimes in the strangest of situations??standing in a grocery store while selecting a packet of pork chops. tulips and azaleas bloomed each spring. it wasn??t enough to appease his wife. you got that??? Charlie was speaking now not simply as a friend. He headed to the bathroom. and from her Jonah had inherited both agility and coordination. Is that all right???Another month. I??ve known him a long time.

 and some kids practiced with more diligence. ??What would you like to know?????Well.?? he said finally. she??d found it hard to do. he??d be caught up in no time. ??Walking?????It??s harder than it looks if you keep a fast pace. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit. wishing that he could turn back the clock and undo everything that had just happened.????How do you like it???She looked over at him. Not as Michael had been??dark and glamorous. went down the hall to peek in on Jonah??still asleep??then pushed open the door to his own bedroom. wondering why he seemed so distant all of a sudden. whose doors first opened in 1718. She also spent two hours a week talking to a wonderful counselor. where people were still coming in.Almost. no. In the end.??Instead.????I love you. Bob Bostrum???Brenda??s jaw dropped. doing his best not to blow it now. You should try it. you know? You see all those shows on TV. Miles entered and sat on the bed. next to the answering machine.????I thought so. ??You did?????Yeah.

 He could hear her laugh again. if it was my son. she??d even considered suicide. it almost seemed as if they??d never been married at all. . ??You don??t think there??s a serious problem.????You got yourself a deal. though the fact that Jonah was fond of Sarah??and vice versa??left him feeling strangely satisfied. He looked more confused than sad. I was up late working. We just lost track of time. Sarah had learned that if she was ever running late for an appointment. Knowlson??our neighbor. And he could feel it. ??If Jonah asked you to go and watch. . ??We??ll keep going like we are and see how he??s doing in another month.?? ??I know. then slowly continued forward. And on the following day. the last thing you want to do is talk to your parents.?? Charlie said seriously. Mom. Sarah believed that she and Michael would follow in their footsteps. he??d seen the exhaustion etched in every feature after giving birth to Jonah. asking Sarah dozens of questions.??Charlie shook his head. she learned about Jonah??s mother.

 just a little too rural for today??s world. ??He??s a great kid??he really is. they set their guns off to the side and. you know? But I can??t really see it all the time. . When she squeezed it.????Okay. she found his good-bye adorable. feeling the sweat bead on my forehead. she was the same height as Jonah. mainly people Michael had known his entire life. his life just feltwrong somehow??as if it were temporarily off track but would soon right itself again. .??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently. Since she was new at the school.?? as Brenda put it. it was front-page news. But it hadn??t worked out that way. Jonah was a terror on the field. Her husband rested his hand on her knee. Miles had already spread the butter. she really has. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country. too.??Do you miss Mommy???Miles set the book down.Brenda??s eyes widened. . ??Thank you.

????And you??re good at it. however. he might have suspected that Missy had stopped to visit with someone she??d seen on her job.??Miles smiled. She smiled. and he certainly wasn??t going to have his ramblings recorded on her answering machine for posterity. hadn??t he noticed it before?A little too busy with your own life. 1988. put her hands on her hips and glared at him the moment he got home.?? ??So have I. okay??? he said in a voice that brooked no disagreement. Miles couldn??t help but smile as well. He checked his watch and.Now. and a weekday. an elderly woman who sat in a chair beneath a large umbrella. Loneliness. lowering her voice as if conversing with herself. a Sunday. . so he saw no reason to use anything else. but only a few. Within moments the sobbing dropped to a whimper. They??d made their vows and promised to love each other forever. she??d come to understand.??She looked at him carefully. and she??d also met parents who seemed to believe their child could do no wrong.I fought back my nausea.

 clearly amused. three days after meeting Miles Ryan.????I have a better idea??why don??t you go to sleep when I tell you to?????I??m not tired then. I don??t repeat everything Ido know. In that instant. he could see his wife in the small features of his son??s face. loud enough for the people inside the house to hear him. except for the reason that the attraction had once again reminded him that he wanted to start over. Jonah forced his eyes open. When she asked a couple of the other teachers about it. interviewing the same people. you shouldn??t. He??s a wonderful boy??he??s always the first to volunteer if I ever need anything. After a year.??You can put your hands down. Teasing people is one of my weaknesses. I keep it that way. As it was.??I know. a look of concern on her face. he could see Jonah going down the slide in the playground.?? She nodded toward the school. Your fingernails are almost gone. he didn??t need to see them clearly to know what they were: Missy sitting on the back porch. sat the file concerning Missy??s death. she motioned for Miles to put aside the videocamera and come play with them. and though he hadn??t known what he would say. but good.

 holding his gaze. . falling in and out of love as the seasons changed.?? he mumbled. ??I don??t know what time he plays. ??On a Friday??? her mother asked. the desks arranged in orderly rows. Miles tossed it onto the front seat and started through the parking lot. and rain poured in through the gaping holes in the roof. while getting Jonah??s backpack ready. the delicately boned face. Jonah pulled back to look at him. ??You??re not planning on that.?? Then. do you know how you play with your friends? When you joke around and laugh and have a good time? That??s all a date is. there was no way she saw herself living here forever.Three hours after meeting with Charlie. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently. and we were all concerned about that. ??I??m kidding. She hadn??t been surprised by this; every school progressed at a different rate. Michael. . Some people could do that. three days after meeting Miles Ryan. The good ones??Double Stuf. Once the buses were on their way and most of the cars were gone. and when he looked up.

 God forbid. The good ones??Double Stuf. Sarah sat with Jonah as he tried his best. and what the investigation would later reveal. .??I??m only going to offer this once. but you??re gonna do this for a while. the noise reverberating throughout the restaurant. Most of the time. and from her Jonah had inherited both agility and coordination. thinking. I don??t think I??ll have to.????No problem.??Well. ??I love you. no matter how unlikely it seemed.????But it??s fine for Jonah. He hadn??t felt that way until recently. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently.There was nothing like gunfire to get the old ticker pumping??the instinct for self-preservation always surprised Miles with both its intensity and its rapidity. Over the next month. So stay away from him.??As her mother droned on. Mom. and he certainly wasn??t going to have his ramblings recorded on her answering machine for posterity.This road always made him think of her. ??I??m not smart. He checked his watch and.

 he waved and she returned the wave enthusiastically. By the time Jonah had dressed himself and made it to the kitchen. .?? she said. she admitted to herself. she spent most evenings alone. he could see the pictures he??d had framed. When I asked him why you wanted to meet with me. a Sunday. his most endearing quality was that he pretended other people??s images of him didn??t matter at all. if shewas home but was on a date with someone else? It was. Miles couldn??t help but smile as well.??You can put your hands down. I mean?????No.??Is he married??? Sarah asked.????But you said he was nice. it seemed a little too soon. and after a moment Sarah finished for him. or if my father were a little more available. In the film.????For something like this.????Did you arrest anyone today???Miles shook his head. and promptly rolled out of bounds. in broad daylight no less. . He was older??sixty-five. When he??d raised the matter with Charlie. He??s one of those rare men who.

 The apartment was up the stairs and three doors away from the pharmacy where in 1898 Caleb Bradham had first marketed Brad??s drink. no. She??s in her eighties. It gets old after a while. She??d never been a big drinker. He??s really a wonderful man. closed themselves off to anything she did. Standing in front of the blackboard.?? she added.?? ??We??ll see. Once everyone was on the buses and the cars were pulling out. rooted in the numbing realization that she??d never really known him at all.?? he finally said with a sigh. they just weren??t comfortable expressing emotion.Otis also held on to a grudge. he was sometimes distant and withdrawn.??He thought about that. Miles stepped back slightly. I??ll take it. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country. ??But she did say that Sarah was attractive. As usual. just as Missy had asked. . it wasn??tthat big a deal. Brian.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. Flash cards.

??Well.He sighed. You know she??s always on the lookout for you. Jonah looked toward Miles with wide eyes that were nearly brimming with tears.??Somehow. The effort was too much. ??It was fine. Sarah Andrews was alone in her living room. poking through bushes. Once he learns something.By the time Jonah??s breathing had fallen into deep.????Listen. you looking forward to meeting with Sarah today??? Miles looked up. Like the wail of someone plunging off a cliff. The sense of community had lured her parents here four years earlier; she??d known nothing about New Bern until she??d moved to town last June. telling Sarah that she was welcome to stop by later. She kissed the camera lens. She moved around the desk. . that it was okay to have these feelings. . Even in the little while she??d been teaching. though. She reached for Sarah??s hand again. I know. He??d put on twenty pounds in the past few years. who met his gaze. sultry and lascivious.

?? Sarah laughed. doing his best not to blow it now. .?? Sarah said. Sarah was still musing over this as she glanced around the room one last time. You should try it. A few kids shouted greetings.??I won??t be coming by.????It??s fine. . It was as if the urge for female companionship didn??t exist at all. he heard Jonah rustling in his room.But she wouldn??t be upset now. You can pull up a chair and we can talk here and maybe we both pass out. I don??t even know where he is. ??But before you worry too much. the trill whistles filling the air.?? Miles repeated. ??You two seemed to have hit it off. not that anyone was counting. someone to share a bottle of wine with over a leisurely dinner. Miles began to look forward to seeing Sarah after school with an unchecked enthusiasm he hadn??t experienced since adolescence. he??d let her down. Sarah glanced up at him.Until the latest arrest. she thought she understood. Jonah was physically mature and didn??t like to practice; it was only a matter of time before the others caught up with him. Miles stopped and visited with some of them.

 lost in their own conversations. not wanting her to leave just yet.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile.????That??s what I??m worried about. She??d giggled about it. right?????Oh. But lately. The ball shot past him.????Okay. Because sheriffs didn??t have jurisdiction over traffic accidents??nor would he have been allowed to investigate. she??d made a mental note to check his work carefully. however. wandered around the classroom. lit it. Now get some sleep. She was undressing. Then.Charlie glanced up from his food. And we??ll talk about how smart you are. writing.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint.????It was fun??we played games. His report cards said he was doing fine. Mom. Miles poured the tea and pushed Charlie??s glass toward him. His own parents hadn??t been so affectionate. .When Missy Ryan died.

?? he began.?? He tossed the rest of the ice-cream cone into the garbage. She??s in her eighties. she quickly scanned the mail and then set it on the table by the door. Sometimes even we have trouble finding what field we??re playing on. He doesn??t stay on the phone long. When she pressed him. an exercise in paranoia. But even if they??d offered soccer. and kick yet another goal. .At the next corner.It was Monday. and Maureen had wanted to spend the day browsing among the booths and in the antique stores along Middle Street. Miles had seen the look before??a look of apprehension??but before he could say anything. he just came out with it. thinking about her brother for a moment.????I think she??s pretty. he??d probably never had to ask a woman out??his wife had been his high school sweetheart. He??s got nine kids. . She backed away from the booth as her mom went on. On her knees. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself. he thought to himself. Miles. she??d met parents who didn??t seem to care about their children. even the ones who were around knew enough to avoid the place for the danger it presented.

Despite herself. too. He looked more serious than any seven-year-old should. he??d been gone most of the day. Miles entered and sat on the bed. nursing her second glass of wine. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful. and to say she was angry was an understatement. Missy would always be there . and Miles was thankful not only for the fact that his home sat on an acre of land. the kind that made the stomach roil. ??Don??t forget to brush your hair after you get dressed.??I appreciate that. however.??Maureen followed Sarah??s lead without complaint. covering his arms and fingers. She??d never been a big drinker. ??Well .????I will. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself. take it easy.Jonah shrugged. never. Despite the heat. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful.Strangely. I played the traditional sports??football. and sifting through the same information.

 Sadly.??She nodded. The Timsons came out peacefully and. Miles stepped back slightly. After deciding there was no easy way to say it.??Now. her plans still needed a little tinkering. And that was just for starters. do you know how you play with your friends? When you joke around and laugh and have a good time? That??s all a date is. ??I didn??t bring you here just to give you bad news. Someone like Missy. Brenda??s face lit up. as if the kids inside were wondering whether or not to make a run for it. then found a place to sit. And no matter what else he did that afternoon. ??Thanks a lot. he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Still. she met his eyes and smiled. Why. things like that. asking the same questions. and he??s really good to the other students as well. He winced and felt the lead in his gut. ??Mom. she persisted until Sarah relented. It was only May. and he filed a complaint???? Miles slammed his hand against the table.

 the desks arranged in orderly rows.??Sarah opened the folder and handed Miles a stack of papers. and he was good at it. there were other things: gunshots fired nearby. Miles went on. he could listen to the sound of her voice. do you know how you play with your friends? When you joke around and laugh and have a good time? That??s all a date is.He didn??t fully understand that until after Jonah was born. someone who assumed that every child would respond to her if she tried hard enough. and then turned off the lights on her way out.Miles lowered Jonah to the ground. he felt almost as if he??d never known them at all. Thank God no one was around to hear it! Except for Sarah. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful. but you??re gonna do this for a while. She removed her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk. She took his hand as if it didn??t matter to her. ??Oreos. and Miles was looking for Jonah??s when he heard a voice behind him. Still. isn??t there. their faces and arms dirty. more rugged way. Jonah needed to eat. By the time he came home. The reason was in his bedroom. but Jonah as well. she quickly scanned the mail and then set it on the table by the door.

 he denied that he felt any differently toward her. The ball shot past him.?? Sarah said automatically.No one.Miles tapped out another cigarette. he rubbed his eyes and his face. too. two boys??the second a few years younger than the first??peeked out from either side of the opening where the front door used to be.Sarah smiled at Brenda??s attempt at subtlety. Something in the wording of her letter had left him with the feeling that it was a little more serious than the typical parent-teacher conference. I had to stay after school when I was a kid. their conversations had usually been relatively short and impersonal: where supplies were stored.??I??m not sure yet. Though he couldn??t prove it.??Kind of like a movie?????Kinda. the words were lost. After the service.Damn. the one he??d made for himself in the months following her funeral. He??d tried.??Jonah squirmed in his seat. if he remembered correctly. no premonitions burst forth like exploding fireworks; he felt no sense of foreboding at all. a small restaurant just down the street from the bank where she worked. willing herself not to cry. she poured herself a glass of ice water and carried the glass to her bedroom. and he pushed his plate off to the side.She??d heard about Miles Ryan.

 But after spending a week with him. In a minute.?? he answered again.?? he said sheepishly. something . He swallowed. would you go wait by the car while I talk to Miss Andrews for a couple minutes?????Okay. Unfocused. There??s a whole bunch of ??em in there. but that wasn??t real smoking.?? she said. ??They did the same thing at lunch today.??I??m not sure yet. he remembers it. By that point. so take it or leave it. simply because he wouldn??t give up. it hadn??t started off badly. and half the kids didn??t know in which direction they were supposed to kick the ball. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. he??s patient. so Miss Andrews can help you out. but you??re gonna do this for a while.??Miles looked horrified. but I don??t know if she??d be up to doing schoolwork with him every day. It??s just that I??ve noticed a big change in him these last few weeks. She was over him. one student who particularly concerned her.

 ??No. She??d discovered that many of the students in her class weren??t as far along as they should have been in most of the core subjects. it hadn??t been as easy as it was when he??d been twenty-two. As they seated themselves at the picnic table. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. I??d think you were teasing me. the hot-water heater in her apartment had stopped working and she??d had to take a cold shower before heading off to school. waiting to emerge and humiliate him. The evidence??information that had never appeared in any of the articles??showed that much. Sure. Just enjoying the game. trying to watch her approach without being too obvious.? ? ?In the coming weeks. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. But I had to get you in the right frame of mind so you don??t blow your stack. It was the saddest thing I??ve ever seen. Miles wiped his brow in mock relief. Miles still found his thoughts drawn to Missy. Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her. When he got there.?? Charlie said seriously. Brenda worked at the school in the principal??s office and seemed to know everything that went on at the school. No reason to dwell on it.?? Jonah said softly. there was no such thing as an early evening fire in this town. The way she looked at him spoke volumes. and we were all concerned about that. right? I??ve met his wife.